When my old roommate from my first semester at school called me to tell me that she was getting baptized I was completely overjoyed! I couldn’t even stand it! My heart was so full. And to me, it was out of the blue. I had worked with her and loved her so much during my first semester. I sat in on discussions with her; I had had many talks with her over lunch. I had let the Holy Spirit guide my thoughts and words (and that was later confirmed to me because it seemed like everything I told her was reiterated in blessings or discussions the missionaries would give). There was a point towards the end of the semester where I felt I had done my work with her. The rest was left up to her. I think I might have mentioned that to her. I believed she would be baptized one day, I just didn’t know when. I told her to take her time, because then it would be even more of a beautiful experience than if she didn’t wait until she was ready. I told her it would be a beautiful experience, and she would want it to be the best she could make it.
I knew I would like to attend the baptism, but I wasn't sure if I could. There wasn't anyone I knew of, that was going to make a trip to my college campus, and the car I drive is very old and the gas prices would amount to more than a plane ticket. So I opted to buy the ticket. It was s huge sacrifice oh my part. Not that it would be much of a sacrifice to someone else, but for a poor college student, it was a huge step. But the day I called my old roommate was the day I knew it was a good decision. I spoke with her and told her I was coming, and she expressed such gratitude and appreciation. Then I asked her about her decision and she testified very strongly about the gospel. I think I got an inkling of what it meant in D&C 18 where is says how great our joy will be if we bring one soul to Christ. It wasn't so much because of what I had done (for I merely listened to what God wanted me to say), but it was the joy of seeing her take that step. She was entering the waters of baptism! I felt like the people in Mosiah 18:11 and wanted to clap my hands with the excitement I was feeling. I was overjoyed.
Her baptism was perhaps the most beautiful I had ever witnessed. She was so beautiful! I know from when I was living with her that she just shined with the light of Christ, even before becoming a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-Day Saints. Now that she has the Gift of the Holy Ghost and the conviction of the Spirit, I see her with a light unlike I had ever seen with her before. Truly, there has been a "change [of] heart (Alma 5:14)” and she has become “a new creature (2 Corinthians 5:17)”. She even told us of how before she joined the church she would feel the spirit around certain people as long as they were with her, but when they were not, the spirit would leave (except in those special instances the spirit would touch her to testify of truth). She says it was not with her, but fleeting. How amazing she was to recognize that.
Her baptism was not only a blessing to herself, but also a blessing to many others. Here was a grown woman who was discovering truths I had known as a child, and forgotten or taken for granted. I do remember as a child, before my baptism I had so desperately wanted the spirit with me continually as well. And I did feel the change. But she has realized so many other things. She is discovering sanctification. She is discovering truth and the restoration. She is getting so much more out of it; more than I could have imagined at age 8. At that age, I was aware of what I was doing, it felt right, and I did have my little testimony in my own way, but it was a simple understanding. My roommate has searched it out and gained a better understanding. She is really wise!
Her baptism also gave us opportunity to testify. I was asked to speak on baptism. I did get choked up, though I was told it just looked like I got really nervous all of a sudden and it looked like I was freaking out instead of being touched. Oh well. I knew what I felt and I think my roommate knew me well enough to know that I was caught up in the moment. Also, two bishops (her ward and our old bishop) welcomed her into the ward. Both talks were great, and the spirit was strong. Afterwards I went up to the Bishop I had and thanked him for his message that day. He thanked me also, and then pulled me into a big hug. I don’t think that my bishop before that moment had ever hugged me. I was stunned. But then he told me it was good people like me that made this happen. I said yes, many good people. Because during that trip, I began to see how I had impacted my roommates’ lives. They didn’t see it or recognize it (I think that is the beauty of it, because my example had just become a part of them). I was just a piece to a big puzzle in God’s hands, interwoven into a beautiful tapestry of grace, beauty and love. God does love his children and answers to their needs. I have been part and recipient of that in my life. We are all a part in uplifting and edifying each other, for we are Never Alone. And I will always thank my God for that.
Sunday, July 19, 2009
Saturday, July 4, 2009
Long May Our Land Be Bright
Happy Independence Day! I can't help but think back to the church history tour I took the summer before my junior year. This trip included a visit to Independence Hall where two divinely inspired documents were adopted: The Constitution and The Declaration of Independence.
Here is a little history most people don't know about the declaration of Independence. "President Ronald Reagan told the story about the signers of the Declaration of Independence and how they were struggling about the signing of the document, when an old man stood up and told them that this was their hour, the greatest hour in the history of this nation and to step forward and sign the document and men would praise them forever.
"With the spirit they felt, they immediately went to the table and began to sign and when they turned to have the stranger come, he was not there. The door was locked, and he was gone. The unknown visitor was probably Moroni." You can only imagine their terror, they were committing treason to the most powerful nation of that time. And there were some colonists who were still loyal to the crown. They had to have known their place in history, the importance of that document, and the seriousness of what they were doing. No wonder they might have needed a little divine inspiration.
The establishment of this country does not fall short of a miracle. The independence we gained was a miracle in itself. Here these tiny colonies that formed a union went up against the country with the most powerful navy. And won. Can we doubt there was intervention?
The Constitution was also a miracle in its own way. Delegates from states almost as diversified as separate countries came together and constructed the Constitution through compromise. In fact, it would be impossible to create a document that would satisfy every state. Of the 55 men who participated in the convention, only 39 signed the completed document. But these men were dedicated to the task at hand. James Madison said, "There never was an assembly of men, charged with a great and arduous trust, who were more pure in their motives, or more exclusively or anxiously devoted to the object committed to them." No wonder the Lord raised up men to that very purpose (D&C101:80).
So out of the worlds without number, why would God pay special attention to our little world in the corner of our Galaxy? And further, why would he take a special interest in the establishment of a free land? For as he told the Brother of Jared, "Behold, this is a choice land, and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall be free from bondage, and from captivity, and from all other nations under heaven..."(Ether 2:12). Well, a country that supported the freedom of religion was ready to usher in the restoration of the Gospel, Without the religious revival, the young boy, Joseph Smith, would not have had the desire to ask which of all the sects he should join, Also, after receiving the plates and translating them he was able to establish the church on April 6, 1830, the anniversary of day the constitution was signed, by the way. Also, we believe "that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American Continent (Articles of Faith vs 10). How then can we doubt that this country does have a very special place in history and for a divine purpose?
But among these miracles, we must notice that history repeats itself. Like the Nephites of old, we are following the outline of the pride cycle. Abraham Lincoln said," We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious had which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, as we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superiosr wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too slef-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us." Our country has been so blessed that men's hearts have turned proud. I think we have watched prosperity followed by greed, pride, and then a collapse of morality. What will come next? Calamity. As we have seen time and time again (http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1032-11,00.html). As we have listened to General Conference, I have been amazed to realize that our prophets, seers, and revelators are preparing us for hard times ahead. For they must come.
But what can we as saints do? Abraham Lincoln continued, "It behooves, us then, to humble ourselves before the Offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness."
Yes, on Independence Day many people feel very proud of our country and their hearts swell for the respect they have for our flag. But what is real patriotism? "A patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime"(Adlai Stevenson). I suggest we show our patriotism by fighting in a war that continues through the ages. I speak of the attack against religion and morality. In today's world it is spat upon, considered unintelligent, and foolish. Even within our nation's capital. Wo unto them (2 Nephi 15:20). They have forgotten that "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other" (John Adams). We, as saints and citizens under such an inspired constitution, have a civc duty to be moral in our conduct, for "righteousness exalteth a nation"(Proverbs 14:34). I can't help but see the similarities of the world we live in to that of Sodom and Gomorra. We must be the 50 that will keep the city alive. We have that power. We can take faith in the promises that we have been given. We know a Savior is coming. We know that we will be able to establish a Zion. We know that God will not forsake his people. Let us keep pressing forward in righteousness. This is a blessed land, for it has risen considerably from a very fragile state. Let us give thanks to the God of our Fathers who is the one to "protect us by [his] might, Great God our King.
Here is a little history most people don't know about the declaration of Independence. "President Ronald Reagan told the story about the signers of the Declaration of Independence and how they were struggling about the signing of the document, when an old man stood up and told them that this was their hour, the greatest hour in the history of this nation and to step forward and sign the document and men would praise them forever.
"With the spirit they felt, they immediately went to the table and began to sign and when they turned to have the stranger come, he was not there. The door was locked, and he was gone. The unknown visitor was probably Moroni." You can only imagine their terror, they were committing treason to the most powerful nation of that time. And there were some colonists who were still loyal to the crown. They had to have known their place in history, the importance of that document, and the seriousness of what they were doing. No wonder they might have needed a little divine inspiration.
The establishment of this country does not fall short of a miracle. The independence we gained was a miracle in itself. Here these tiny colonies that formed a union went up against the country with the most powerful navy. And won. Can we doubt there was intervention?
The Constitution was also a miracle in its own way. Delegates from states almost as diversified as separate countries came together and constructed the Constitution through compromise. In fact, it would be impossible to create a document that would satisfy every state. Of the 55 men who participated in the convention, only 39 signed the completed document. But these men were dedicated to the task at hand. James Madison said, "There never was an assembly of men, charged with a great and arduous trust, who were more pure in their motives, or more exclusively or anxiously devoted to the object committed to them." No wonder the Lord raised up men to that very purpose (D&C101:80).
So out of the worlds without number, why would God pay special attention to our little world in the corner of our Galaxy? And further, why would he take a special interest in the establishment of a free land? For as he told the Brother of Jared, "Behold, this is a choice land, and whatsoever nation shall possess it shall be free from bondage, and from captivity, and from all other nations under heaven..."(Ether 2:12). Well, a country that supported the freedom of religion was ready to usher in the restoration of the Gospel, Without the religious revival, the young boy, Joseph Smith, would not have had the desire to ask which of all the sects he should join, Also, after receiving the plates and translating them he was able to establish the church on April 6, 1830, the anniversary of day the constitution was signed, by the way. Also, we believe "that Zion (the New Jerusalem) will be built upon the American Continent (Articles of Faith vs 10). How then can we doubt that this country does have a very special place in history and for a divine purpose?
But among these miracles, we must notice that history repeats itself. Like the Nephites of old, we are following the outline of the pride cycle. Abraham Lincoln said," We have been the recipients of the choicest bounties of Heaven; we have been preserved these many years in peace and prosperity. We have grown in numbers, wealth, and power, as no other nation has ever grown. But we have forgotten God. We have forgotten the gracious had which preserved us in peace and multiplied and enriched and strengthened us, as we have vainly imagined, in the deceitfulness of our hearts, that all these blessings were produced by some superiosr wisdom and virtue of our own. Intoxicated with unbroken success, we have become too slef-sufficient to feel the necessity of redeeming and preserving grace, too proud to pray to the God that made us." Our country has been so blessed that men's hearts have turned proud. I think we have watched prosperity followed by greed, pride, and then a collapse of morality. What will come next? Calamity. As we have seen time and time again (http://lds.org/conference/talk/display/0,5232,23-1-1032-11,00.html). As we have listened to General Conference, I have been amazed to realize that our prophets, seers, and revelators are preparing us for hard times ahead. For they must come.
But what can we as saints do? Abraham Lincoln continued, "It behooves, us then, to humble ourselves before the Offended Power, to confess our national sins, and to pray for clemency and forgiveness."
Yes, on Independence Day many people feel very proud of our country and their hearts swell for the respect they have for our flag. But what is real patriotism? "A patriotism that puts country ahead of self; a patriotism which is not short, frenzied outbursts of emotion, but the tranquil and steady dedication of a lifetime"(Adlai Stevenson). I suggest we show our patriotism by fighting in a war that continues through the ages. I speak of the attack against religion and morality. In today's world it is spat upon, considered unintelligent, and foolish. Even within our nation's capital. Wo unto them (2 Nephi 15:20). They have forgotten that "Our Constitution was made only for a moral and religious people. It is wholly inadequate to the government of any other" (John Adams). We, as saints and citizens under such an inspired constitution, have a civc duty to be moral in our conduct, for "righteousness exalteth a nation"(Proverbs 14:34). I can't help but see the similarities of the world we live in to that of Sodom and Gomorra. We must be the 50 that will keep the city alive. We have that power. We can take faith in the promises that we have been given. We know a Savior is coming. We know that we will be able to establish a Zion. We know that God will not forsake his people. Let us keep pressing forward in righteousness. This is a blessed land, for it has risen considerably from a very fragile state. Let us give thanks to the God of our Fathers who is the one to "protect us by [his] might, Great God our King.
Monday, June 22, 2009
Job Quest
Well, home used to be the best place to find a job. The city was the perfect place to find all different sorts of employment. One had to only put forth the effort. Well, the past few months have certainly been full of effort, with little result. But I am now employed with little to do with my search for a job at all.
It all actually started with accepting a visiting teaching assignment. Since I was home for the summer, my Relief Society president thought it would be beneficial to give me an assignment. My companion then referred me to another sister in the ward who was putting together a road show and hiring women to work for a week. A week of work was better than no work, and it payed well, so I jumped on that! I enjoyed my time on the road show and there met another women. She was spunky and we both got along splendidly. She was about thirty and kept guessing I was in my 20s, which I found rather humorous. The first day of working together, she referred me to her husband, who was looking for a woman to man his kiosk. The second day working together she told me, he would be willing to hire me, despite my return to school. So after a week of working for the road show, I got to try my hand at being a sales person (which I have never really been good at). So far, so good. We have been busier than normal, which is a blessing because I get payed an hourly salary as well as commission.
All I have to say is, I wouldn't have found this job (plus babysitting opportunities) if I wasn't a faithful member of the church and if it's members didn't care about me. Truly, finding this job was through several acts of mercy by the members and by God's hand. Truly, the ward family unit can produce miracles in a financial crisis, in times of uncertainty, and when support is needed. I thank my God for that. I thank him for the wisdom in the organization of His church. We are supported on all sides. Truly, we will not be alone.
It all actually started with accepting a visiting teaching assignment. Since I was home for the summer, my Relief Society president thought it would be beneficial to give me an assignment. My companion then referred me to another sister in the ward who was putting together a road show and hiring women to work for a week. A week of work was better than no work, and it payed well, so I jumped on that! I enjoyed my time on the road show and there met another women. She was spunky and we both got along splendidly. She was about thirty and kept guessing I was in my 20s, which I found rather humorous. The first day of working together, she referred me to her husband, who was looking for a woman to man his kiosk. The second day working together she told me, he would be willing to hire me, despite my return to school. So after a week of working for the road show, I got to try my hand at being a sales person (which I have never really been good at). So far, so good. We have been busier than normal, which is a blessing because I get payed an hourly salary as well as commission.
All I have to say is, I wouldn't have found this job (plus babysitting opportunities) if I wasn't a faithful member of the church and if it's members didn't care about me. Truly, finding this job was through several acts of mercy by the members and by God's hand. Truly, the ward family unit can produce miracles in a financial crisis, in times of uncertainty, and when support is needed. I thank my God for that. I thank him for the wisdom in the organization of His church. We are supported on all sides. Truly, we will not be alone.
A Few Thoughts On Prayer
I was reading the visiting teaching message and came across a Bednar quote:
"Meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work. Blessings require some effort on our part before we can obtain them, and prayer, as 'a form of work,...is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings'. We press forward and persevere in the consecrated work of prayer, after we say 'amen,' by acting upon the things we have expressed to Heavenly Father". The whole quote was meaningful for me, but I specifically felt impressed with prayer being a form or work. Who would thing that prayer is a form of work? I mean yes, it does require effort. When we pray we are acknowledging our Father's existence, we are exercising faith, it is a confession of sin and a request for forgiveness, a plea, and an opportunity for thanksgiving. But I consider that a blessing in itself: the opportunity to plead with deity on our behalf and the behalf of our families. But then I realized we are to pray with "all energy of heart (Moroni 7:48)". All energy? That could be exhausting. I know in dire times of need I have plead and plead and been exhausted afterwords. But we are to be just as sincere in all our prayers. Not just the ones when we are in a stressful situation. We are to pray with all our energy. I believe when we do this, when we supplicate, turn our will to his, and listen, it opens the door for spiritual experiences (MT 7:7-8 :Ask, and it shall be bgiven you; cseek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.). They will be poured out upon our heads. And spiritual experiences can be exhausting in themselves! But they will not come "until after the trial of [our] faith" (Ether 12:6), meaning we must put forth the effort. That must be exhausting too! Our faith can be tested daily. Therefore, it can be strengthened daily. Remember, we must pray always (D&C 10:5).
I think that is what helped me the most my first semester of school. I constantly was thanking my Heavenly Father for the things around me. If I got out of class early, I thanked him. If I met someone that day I thanked him. I think I thanked him everyday for my room mates. I thanked him for opportunities I had. I thanked him for the time I was managing. I thanked him for the food I ate. I thanked him for the "beauty of the earth". Just anything that was put in my path, I considered a direct blessing from heaven. And that first semester was one of the best times of my life because I was acknowledging my Father's hand in everything around me. I was putting faith in him.
I know that when we trust in him, he will direct our paths for good. I know that he won't desert us. He can't, because he engraved us upon the palms of his hands (Isaiah 49:16). I know he can give comfort that only he can give.
If we commit to pray always, his spirit will be allowed to stay with us, and we will Never be Alone.
"Meaningful prayer requires both holy communication and consecrated work. Blessings require some effort on our part before we can obtain them, and prayer, as 'a form of work,...is an appointed means for obtaining the highest of all blessings'. We press forward and persevere in the consecrated work of prayer, after we say 'amen,' by acting upon the things we have expressed to Heavenly Father". The whole quote was meaningful for me, but I specifically felt impressed with prayer being a form or work. Who would thing that prayer is a form of work? I mean yes, it does require effort. When we pray we are acknowledging our Father's existence, we are exercising faith, it is a confession of sin and a request for forgiveness, a plea, and an opportunity for thanksgiving. But I consider that a blessing in itself: the opportunity to plead with deity on our behalf and the behalf of our families. But then I realized we are to pray with "all energy of heart (Moroni 7:48)". All energy? That could be exhausting. I know in dire times of need I have plead and plead and been exhausted afterwords. But we are to be just as sincere in all our prayers. Not just the ones when we are in a stressful situation. We are to pray with all our energy. I believe when we do this, when we supplicate, turn our will to his, and listen, it opens the door for spiritual experiences (MT 7:7-8 :Ask, and it shall be bgiven you; cseek, and ye shall find; knock, and it shall be opened unto you: For every one that asketh receiveth; and he that seeketh findeth; and to him that knocketh it shall be opened.). They will be poured out upon our heads. And spiritual experiences can be exhausting in themselves! But they will not come "until after the trial of [our] faith" (Ether 12:6), meaning we must put forth the effort. That must be exhausting too! Our faith can be tested daily. Therefore, it can be strengthened daily. Remember, we must pray always (D&C 10:5).
I think that is what helped me the most my first semester of school. I constantly was thanking my Heavenly Father for the things around me. If I got out of class early, I thanked him. If I met someone that day I thanked him. I think I thanked him everyday for my room mates. I thanked him for opportunities I had. I thanked him for the time I was managing. I thanked him for the food I ate. I thanked him for the "beauty of the earth". Just anything that was put in my path, I considered a direct blessing from heaven. And that first semester was one of the best times of my life because I was acknowledging my Father's hand in everything around me. I was putting faith in him.
I know that when we trust in him, he will direct our paths for good. I know that he won't desert us. He can't, because he engraved us upon the palms of his hands (Isaiah 49:16). I know he can give comfort that only he can give.
If we commit to pray always, his spirit will be allowed to stay with us, and we will Never be Alone.
Sunday, June 7, 2009
My Beautiful College Campus!
I got a call on Monday from one of my good girlfriends saying she would like to take a road trip to our college! Wow! On the one hand I really wanted to see the campus again, catch up with old friends, and have a little adventure to rescue me from the boredom I have been experiencing at home. Don't get me wrong, I have been keeping busy, finding things to read (I am officially in love with lds.org), working on various projects, but I have missed the companionship of really good friends, the spirit that I can feel right when I step onto campus, and oddly, my very hectic life style where I hardly had the time to feed myself. I missed all that because it was so associated with the learning and growth I have had over the past two semesters.
On the other hand, it was really bad timing because it was also one of my other friend's last full weeks at home before he is set apart as a missionary. Lately we had been hanging out and I didn't want to miss my last little bit of time with him. Also, my mother wanted me to go to the cannery :) with her and she wasn't all for the idea of me driving up there by myself and one other "cute" girl.
So it was a hard decision. I talked it over with my soon-to-be-missionary friend (we both had a hard time and I shed a few tears), took a deep breath, and followed my heart. I felt good about the decision, and as it turns out I'm sure my friend was grateful for it later. But I will get to that part. I made arrangements and on Tuesday (with a prayer) we were off!
At first it was great. My friend and I were both excited to be on the road and doing something we had never done before. But I think we were both aware that we had to be safe and responsible drivers (that was one thing I had been initially concerned about with her - not because she was a crazy driver, because I'd seen her drive and she did well, but I knew she likes to speed, but then again, so does my dad). I couldn't believe how much my friend had grown up, though. She had planned for this in like a day, but exceptionally well. We had a cooler for all of our food (since she was on this crazy special diet and I wasn't fond of buying any - me being unemployed and all). We both had maps and housing we wanted to look at. I made arrangements for where we were going to stay, gas was going to be taken care of by her parents. It was awesome. That night we made it to my Grandparent's house. I didn't get to see my grandpa the whole time we were there, because he was asleep when we got there and still sleeping when we left. My grandma spoiled me with pizza and let me look at some pictures. And of course, it wouldn't have been a visit to Grandma's house had she not given me the scoop about everything. :) She informed me about my aunt and cousins and a bit about my own sister. My grandma is "a genius" and always knows what is going on. I love her! It was so kind of her to let us stay there and to wait up for us. I think that is the hardest thing about traveling. She will dote on us and though it is greatly appreciated, I always want to give something in return. Well, the "fee" for our stay was a promise to call her when we arrived to our destination. We got up early the next morning. Grandma came stumbling out of her room saying, "You were serious about waking up in the middle of the night, huh?" I though that was funny and cute. Just like grandma in every way. But I did feel bad about her getting up so early. She again spoiled us with breakfast (she always likes to get cereal she knows the grandkids will like - except this time it was a poached egg, one of her new things to do for us). It was strange to see my grandma see me off (mainly because usually she tells my mom or dad to drive safe-not me), but fun at the same time. Again we said a prayer and then we hit the road. We arrived at our destination in enough time to tour around campus, explore the housing my friend had in mind (the more I went to the different houses and apartments the more I became convinced that I chose the right one for me. I'm excited!), catch a movie, and see friends.
A lot of my friends were gone or were busy preparing for midterms or in rehearsal so, I tried to entertain the friend I traveled up with. She's one of those people who has to have something going on or goes crazy. That seemed to be the case. I was actually content to stay and relax at the girl's apartment we were staying at for the night, but she was going to have steam coming out her ears if we did that. In fact, she was anxious to get on the road again. Which, I admit would have made sense:
1. We would stay at my Grandmother's house that night and then we wouldn't have such a long drive in the morning
2. She didn't know all these people that I was so anxious to see
3. She had accomplished what she had come there to do
4. I had (sort of, briefly) seen the people I wanted to see
So, as you can see, I was quite torn. After all, I didn't want to waste her time. After all, this was her trip and I should be grateful just to be able to have had a free ride up there and back as well as see the friends I love so much, despite how brief it was. And she was having a hard time, though she wouldn't talk to me about it. I could see that she was also very hungry from her crazy diet that mostly consisted of vegetables (not very filling). She needed more substance, but there wasn't much around. Luckily we found some fake meat patties for her that she could eat.
Despite all this, I couldn't bring myself to drive away so soon. I thought maybe I was being selfish, and so I resisted my feelings. I decided to discuss it with my friend. I asked for her to look at it from my point of view. But then I told her that I didn't want to make this experience a bad one. I wanted to talk it out with her. She kind of lost her patience and said it was fine, while clearly meaning it wasn't.
I didn't know how this was going to affect her mood in the morning, but at the same time I was grateful, for what ever reason, I didn't feel comfortable leaving that night.
So, I got to meet up with one of my really good friends who helped me surprise another one of my really good friends in one of the buildings. Then I went up to the beautiful temple that I love so much with him. Then we returned to the girl's apartment I was staying at and then he and I went and got some pizza for all of us. Actually, I should say he got the pizza, because he wouldn't let me pay for it, pointing out that I didn't have a job and he did. When I tried to pay him back later that night he asked if I would really deny him the opportunity to give a gift to his friends. Wow. What a guy! Who does that! He was being so nice, and I wanted to give back in return, but I guess I'll just have to be more clever, because that way was not going to fly.
One of my friends told me I should come to a jazz thing. In fact, I really had no idea what he was talking about, but anything with the word "jazz" sounded great to me. Plus I trusted him and his judgement. He's a good friend and music major like myself. So I was under the impression that it was a concert that he was going to be in, because he had invited me to so many of his concerts before that I was unable to attend for one reason or another (mainly keeping myself alive and eating) so, I felt I should go to finally give him some support. As it turns out, it was like this cute little place, kind of set up like a club, but totally lds. Professors, students from the university and students of the guest players were there. It was really good. Cute idea! My friend was still a little mopey and openly shared her displeasure for being there, but I enjoyed it and hoped she would to. She likes jazz. While I was there I got to see some people I was hoping I would cross paths with while I was there. It was awesome! I was determined to go to bed at a somewhat decent time, so we headed back early. I was then able to talk with my room mates and friend who I hadn't really been able to see for a long time. I was so comfortable at that moment in time. It was a feeling of home that came over me. It was like I was living at school again and everything was right. I was so at peace. But eventually I had to go to bed. I was scared that my friend was going to make me drive all the way home by myself in punishment for keeping her there. So I did. I woke up on time, and had to wake her up, and then we loaded our things and were off.
Well, at first, it was all good. Smooth sailing. But then something strange happened. The light on the clock started to flicker and go out. Then the speedometer went crazy, going back and forth and back and forth. My friend woke up just in time to call her dad about it. The car was still running at that point so I kept going. Then when my friend's father called a little later to see how it was going, I felt the car give out beneath me. I pulled over to hear her saying ,"What are you doing? Get back on the highway!" She hadn't realized what was going on. I had to tell her it died. Well, what followed was a kind of adventure. We gave directions to a tow company and only had to wait a bout a half an hour. While we were waiting a highway patrolman stopped by to see how we were doing. He gave us some common sense directions. It was kind of funny to me actually, though appreciated. Well, then we got towed and the car got fixed up in a jiffy. We actually spent most of our time in the shop waiting for the car part. And before too long we were on the road again! We even got home before dark.
Now, the moral of the story: Had we gone home when it made sense, and I felt pressured to, we probably would have broken down without any hazard lights (because I couldn't get any lights on when the car died and that wouldn't have been all that safe because the car died right on the shoulder, i struggled with the fact that it was so close to the highway and I couldn't move it any further) in the dark. Yep, that's right. Us two "cute" girls would have been waiting for a tow truck in some fairly dim lighting since I estimate, it would have been in the evening that we would have broken down. Who is to say if something bad would have happened. Perhaps it wouldn't have mattered either way. But I'm sure we would have been waiting longer to get the car fixed, and I definitely wouldn't have been as comfortable in the shop that evening as I had been the next day in the afternoon. We were truly blessed the way things turned out. My friend actually turned out to love our college town by the time we left and we both had a pleasant trip back. Our moods were definitely better and our spirits uplifted. We arrived home happy and safe. And I don't believe we did it alone. We were never a lone the whole trip.
On the other hand, it was really bad timing because it was also one of my other friend's last full weeks at home before he is set apart as a missionary. Lately we had been hanging out and I didn't want to miss my last little bit of time with him. Also, my mother wanted me to go to the cannery :) with her and she wasn't all for the idea of me driving up there by myself and one other "cute" girl.
So it was a hard decision. I talked it over with my soon-to-be-missionary friend (we both had a hard time and I shed a few tears), took a deep breath, and followed my heart. I felt good about the decision, and as it turns out I'm sure my friend was grateful for it later. But I will get to that part. I made arrangements and on Tuesday (with a prayer) we were off!
At first it was great. My friend and I were both excited to be on the road and doing something we had never done before. But I think we were both aware that we had to be safe and responsible drivers (that was one thing I had been initially concerned about with her - not because she was a crazy driver, because I'd seen her drive and she did well, but I knew she likes to speed, but then again, so does my dad). I couldn't believe how much my friend had grown up, though. She had planned for this in like a day, but exceptionally well. We had a cooler for all of our food (since she was on this crazy special diet and I wasn't fond of buying any - me being unemployed and all). We both had maps and housing we wanted to look at. I made arrangements for where we were going to stay, gas was going to be taken care of by her parents. It was awesome. That night we made it to my Grandparent's house. I didn't get to see my grandpa the whole time we were there, because he was asleep when we got there and still sleeping when we left. My grandma spoiled me with pizza and let me look at some pictures. And of course, it wouldn't have been a visit to Grandma's house had she not given me the scoop about everything. :) She informed me about my aunt and cousins and a bit about my own sister. My grandma is "a genius" and always knows what is going on. I love her! It was so kind of her to let us stay there and to wait up for us. I think that is the hardest thing about traveling. She will dote on us and though it is greatly appreciated, I always want to give something in return. Well, the "fee" for our stay was a promise to call her when we arrived to our destination. We got up early the next morning. Grandma came stumbling out of her room saying, "You were serious about waking up in the middle of the night, huh?" I though that was funny and cute. Just like grandma in every way. But I did feel bad about her getting up so early. She again spoiled us with breakfast (she always likes to get cereal she knows the grandkids will like - except this time it was a poached egg, one of her new things to do for us). It was strange to see my grandma see me off (mainly because usually she tells my mom or dad to drive safe-not me), but fun at the same time. Again we said a prayer and then we hit the road. We arrived at our destination in enough time to tour around campus, explore the housing my friend had in mind (the more I went to the different houses and apartments the more I became convinced that I chose the right one for me. I'm excited!), catch a movie, and see friends.
A lot of my friends were gone or were busy preparing for midterms or in rehearsal so, I tried to entertain the friend I traveled up with. She's one of those people who has to have something going on or goes crazy. That seemed to be the case. I was actually content to stay and relax at the girl's apartment we were staying at for the night, but she was going to have steam coming out her ears if we did that. In fact, she was anxious to get on the road again. Which, I admit would have made sense:
1. We would stay at my Grandmother's house that night and then we wouldn't have such a long drive in the morning
2. She didn't know all these people that I was so anxious to see
3. She had accomplished what she had come there to do
4. I had (sort of, briefly) seen the people I wanted to see
So, as you can see, I was quite torn. After all, I didn't want to waste her time. After all, this was her trip and I should be grateful just to be able to have had a free ride up there and back as well as see the friends I love so much, despite how brief it was. And she was having a hard time, though she wouldn't talk to me about it. I could see that she was also very hungry from her crazy diet that mostly consisted of vegetables (not very filling). She needed more substance, but there wasn't much around. Luckily we found some fake meat patties for her that she could eat.
Despite all this, I couldn't bring myself to drive away so soon. I thought maybe I was being selfish, and so I resisted my feelings. I decided to discuss it with my friend. I asked for her to look at it from my point of view. But then I told her that I didn't want to make this experience a bad one. I wanted to talk it out with her. She kind of lost her patience and said it was fine, while clearly meaning it wasn't.
I didn't know how this was going to affect her mood in the morning, but at the same time I was grateful, for what ever reason, I didn't feel comfortable leaving that night.
So, I got to meet up with one of my really good friends who helped me surprise another one of my really good friends in one of the buildings. Then I went up to the beautiful temple that I love so much with him. Then we returned to the girl's apartment I was staying at and then he and I went and got some pizza for all of us. Actually, I should say he got the pizza, because he wouldn't let me pay for it, pointing out that I didn't have a job and he did. When I tried to pay him back later that night he asked if I would really deny him the opportunity to give a gift to his friends. Wow. What a guy! Who does that! He was being so nice, and I wanted to give back in return, but I guess I'll just have to be more clever, because that way was not going to fly.
One of my friends told me I should come to a jazz thing. In fact, I really had no idea what he was talking about, but anything with the word "jazz" sounded great to me. Plus I trusted him and his judgement. He's a good friend and music major like myself. So I was under the impression that it was a concert that he was going to be in, because he had invited me to so many of his concerts before that I was unable to attend for one reason or another (mainly keeping myself alive and eating) so, I felt I should go to finally give him some support. As it turns out, it was like this cute little place, kind of set up like a club, but totally lds. Professors, students from the university and students of the guest players were there. It was really good. Cute idea! My friend was still a little mopey and openly shared her displeasure for being there, but I enjoyed it and hoped she would to. She likes jazz. While I was there I got to see some people I was hoping I would cross paths with while I was there. It was awesome! I was determined to go to bed at a somewhat decent time, so we headed back early. I was then able to talk with my room mates and friend who I hadn't really been able to see for a long time. I was so comfortable at that moment in time. It was a feeling of home that came over me. It was like I was living at school again and everything was right. I was so at peace. But eventually I had to go to bed. I was scared that my friend was going to make me drive all the way home by myself in punishment for keeping her there. So I did. I woke up on time, and had to wake her up, and then we loaded our things and were off.
Well, at first, it was all good. Smooth sailing. But then something strange happened. The light on the clock started to flicker and go out. Then the speedometer went crazy, going back and forth and back and forth. My friend woke up just in time to call her dad about it. The car was still running at that point so I kept going. Then when my friend's father called a little later to see how it was going, I felt the car give out beneath me. I pulled over to hear her saying ,"What are you doing? Get back on the highway!" She hadn't realized what was going on. I had to tell her it died. Well, what followed was a kind of adventure. We gave directions to a tow company and only had to wait a bout a half an hour. While we were waiting a highway patrolman stopped by to see how we were doing. He gave us some common sense directions. It was kind of funny to me actually, though appreciated. Well, then we got towed and the car got fixed up in a jiffy. We actually spent most of our time in the shop waiting for the car part. And before too long we were on the road again! We even got home before dark.
Now, the moral of the story: Had we gone home when it made sense, and I felt pressured to, we probably would have broken down without any hazard lights (because I couldn't get any lights on when the car died and that wouldn't have been all that safe because the car died right on the shoulder, i struggled with the fact that it was so close to the highway and I couldn't move it any further) in the dark. Yep, that's right. Us two "cute" girls would have been waiting for a tow truck in some fairly dim lighting since I estimate, it would have been in the evening that we would have broken down. Who is to say if something bad would have happened. Perhaps it wouldn't have mattered either way. But I'm sure we would have been waiting longer to get the car fixed, and I definitely wouldn't have been as comfortable in the shop that evening as I had been the next day in the afternoon. We were truly blessed the way things turned out. My friend actually turned out to love our college town by the time we left and we both had a pleasant trip back. Our moods were definitely better and our spirits uplifted. We arrived home happy and safe. And I don't believe we did it alone. We were never a lone the whole trip.
Friday, May 8, 2009
Home Again
Well, it is nice to be home again, reunited with loved ones and some old friends (actually most of my old friends are gone or still in school). I have to say, the adjustment has been hard. I was basically going to sin city from my little Zion. Talk about culture shock :) It has been hard to keep myself spiritually fed like I was able to while I was at school. I can't go to a devotional every week, or have a prayer before every class to invite the spirit. Nor are good friends I have had here to help lift me up. I definitely have great things to look foreword to when I return. I do not regret my decision of coming home, though.
Previous to my homecoming I didn't know why I felt my Heavenly Father wanted me to come home. I just felt I should. But as I've been home, though difficult, things have begun to unfold for me. Since I have been home I have been able to attend my sister's graduation and my Great-grandma's funeral. Both were great experiences to see family, to catch up with them, and to see the expressions of love in the family. And though job -hunting has been the biggest pain of my life in this economic crisis, I have the opportunity to be grateful for the few opportunities and skills I have. When I decided to come home I knew it was going to be difficult to find a job in a big city where people with more experience than I have and people with families are losing their jobs and trying to find something to support their family with. Also, it doesn't help that I will return to school where most places want to take the time to train someone who is going to stay around for a while. And I feel I must be honest about that. Before I came I was reading the scriptures and I came across (I believe I was lead to it) 3 Nephi 13:25-34 (also found in Matthew 6):
" 25 And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he looked upon the atwelve whom he had chosen, and said unto them: Remember the words which I have spoken. For behold, ye are they whom I have chosen to bminister unto this people. Therefore I say unto you, ctake no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than draiment?
26 Behold the afowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the alilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;
29 And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But aseek ye first the bkingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. aSufficient is the day unto the evil thereof. "
I was so grateful for that! I knew that somehow I would be able to make it. I think my ungrateful heart is just impatient. I have been home a few weeks and I haven't yet found a job tied to any particular company, though I have tried to do something everyday to reach that goal. But on the other hand, I have been blessed with a few opportunities to sustain me and will allow me to make housing payments this summer. I thank my God for the blessings I have been allowed. He truly is merciful and keeps me in mind, even when I am undeserving. I have found, when I am not listening, He will keep trying to reach me because of His grace and because He knows my heart. Truly, because of his miraculous power I am Never Alone and never will be.
Previous to my homecoming I didn't know why I felt my Heavenly Father wanted me to come home. I just felt I should. But as I've been home, though difficult, things have begun to unfold for me. Since I have been home I have been able to attend my sister's graduation and my Great-grandma's funeral. Both were great experiences to see family, to catch up with them, and to see the expressions of love in the family. And though job -hunting has been the biggest pain of my life in this economic crisis, I have the opportunity to be grateful for the few opportunities and skills I have. When I decided to come home I knew it was going to be difficult to find a job in a big city where people with more experience than I have and people with families are losing their jobs and trying to find something to support their family with. Also, it doesn't help that I will return to school where most places want to take the time to train someone who is going to stay around for a while. And I feel I must be honest about that. Before I came I was reading the scriptures and I came across (I believe I was lead to it) 3 Nephi 13:25-34 (also found in Matthew 6):
" 25 And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he looked upon the atwelve whom he had chosen, and said unto them: Remember the words which I have spoken. For behold, ye are they whom I have chosen to bminister unto this people. Therefore I say unto you, ctake no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than draiment?
26 Behold the afowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the alilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;
29 And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But aseek ye first the bkingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. aSufficient is the day unto the evil thereof. "
I was so grateful for that! I knew that somehow I would be able to make it. I think my ungrateful heart is just impatient. I have been home a few weeks and I haven't yet found a job tied to any particular company, though I have tried to do something everyday to reach that goal. But on the other hand, I have been blessed with a few opportunities to sustain me and will allow me to make housing payments this summer. I thank my God for the blessings I have been allowed. He truly is merciful and keeps me in mind, even when I am undeserving. I have found, when I am not listening, He will keep trying to reach me because of His grace and because He knows my heart. Truly, because of his miraculous power I am Never Alone and never will be.
Sunday, March 29, 2009
Blessed Angels
Angels are among us. Weather they are from the other side of the veil or on our side. They help, they lift, and they bring messages of Christ. I had the honor of experiencing two such angels. At our apartment we have what they call white gloves, which is just basically where we deep clean the whole apartment in preparation of the end of the semester. We have to take over one area of the apartment and clean it and if something isn't done right, we get charged. It is estimated that it takes 8-10 hours. I just didn't have the time.
God knew my needs and during that week two of my friends asked me how I was doing and if they could help me with anything. Of course I told them I was fine and couldn't ask them to do me such a great favor. But during the day, I finally gave in. I was so stressed! But the two friends came and put all they had into it. By the time I had to leave to perform in a concert and meet with my accompanist, there was still some things to do later that night, but a lot had been taken care of. Both of them were willing to stay while I was out. But I wouldn't hear it. I imagined what it would be like to come home and have it all done, and just be able to sleep, but I resisted the temptation. It didn't feel right to me. I would feel guilty until dooms day.
I thought about this experience later. I had really, really appreciated the gesture and valued it very much from both of them. It was touching to see how much I was loved by both of these friends. But even more amazing was that I realized this wasn't out of the ordinary for them. Not to their standards. They both love helping those around them and gladly help those in need. And what were the chances that they would especially be concerned about me at a time I needed them so much. With the help of my Father in Heaven and the help of my friends he has blessed me with, I am truly Never Alone.
God knew my needs and during that week two of my friends asked me how I was doing and if they could help me with anything. Of course I told them I was fine and couldn't ask them to do me such a great favor. But during the day, I finally gave in. I was so stressed! But the two friends came and put all they had into it. By the time I had to leave to perform in a concert and meet with my accompanist, there was still some things to do later that night, but a lot had been taken care of. Both of them were willing to stay while I was out. But I wouldn't hear it. I imagined what it would be like to come home and have it all done, and just be able to sleep, but I resisted the temptation. It didn't feel right to me. I would feel guilty until dooms day.
I thought about this experience later. I had really, really appreciated the gesture and valued it very much from both of them. It was touching to see how much I was loved by both of these friends. But even more amazing was that I realized this wasn't out of the ordinary for them. Not to their standards. They both love helping those around them and gladly help those in need. And what were the chances that they would especially be concerned about me at a time I needed them so much. With the help of my Father in Heaven and the help of my friends he has blessed me with, I am truly Never Alone.
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