This past semester Collegiate was once again invited to sing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir in Music and the Spoken word. We were also invited to sing at the President's Club banquet in Salt Lake. Also, we participated in the sacred music tour. We also held a high school invitational where we invited four or so different high schools to participate in workshops and sing in concert with us. It was a big semester!
I'll try to keep it brief...High school invitationals are always fun because youth are so fun (or bratty--it seems like you always get one or the other. haha)! I enjoyed talking with them and telling them about the college and music program. Also singing with them and hearing them sing was a wonderful occasion. Perhaps the high-light of the whole thing was after the concert I happened to run into the conductor of one of the choirs. This particular choir had been AMAZING! They really reminded me of my own high school choir back at home. I mean, they were good! So, I told him that he did an excellent job with his choir and that he should be proud of his work with them. He looked very familiar to me, but I thought that was only because he had a face that resembled someone else I knew. But then he told me he recognized me too...After a while we figured out that he had been my bus driver when I took the church history trip I had taken back in high school! Wow! I had been one of 30 or so teenagers on his bus years ago, and he remembered me. I then realized that I did not recognize him because it appeared he had lost some weight. He did really look different. I am still blown away that it is such a small world!
Now the sacred music tour project was once again successful. This is a production that the university does every two years. They ask a composer years in advance to compose an orotorio. Then the combined choirs usually go on a short tour and perform the whole thing with the orchestra. It has been a beautiful experience in the past. This time was no different. Except for the fact that I had trouble standing for so long being pregnant. In one of our dress rehearsals in the I-center we were doing a full run through for the cameras so they had editing material if something went wrong the night of the performance. I actually felt like I had to sit down or I was going to faint! That is a new thing for me. But I waited until I felt the cameras were pointed some place else and then sat down. It was just a little frightening. But I was just fine for all the other performances.
We ended up touring in the tabernacle on temple square. We had a full audience and Elder Ballard came! He was probably in the best seat of the house--right in the middle. After the performance as the women were filling into the tunnels, it was announced that he was in the tunnel conversing with some of the girls. The tunnel was so clogged, so I did not get to see him, but apparently he told us that we did a wonderful job and thank you. Then he rode away in a golf cart. I thought it was so sweet that though it was the end of the day and he must have been tired, he still took the time to congratulate us.
Singing at the President's Club Banquet is always a pleasure for me. Again, President Eyring was there with his wife, son, and his wife. While we sang, I was touched with how President Eyring made sure he got to see every single face. He was so engaged and attentive to what we were singing. I am not used to SUCH a captive audience! It was very sweet and humbling. As always, I felt the spirit when we walked in the room.
Apostles and prophets are people just like you and I. They are human and have human personalities. But they definitely wear the mantel of their calling. It shows.
Singing with the Mormon Tabernacle Choir was also a pleasure. We were able to sing a few numbers with them and a few of our own. Here we were, undergraduates, and we got to sing with one of the best choirs in the world! Again, I was amazed at the lightness of their voices and how well they blended! Amazing. They were very complimentary of us, telling us how we sang better or just as well as other choirs that came to sing with them. They commented on our intonation and power. It was very nice of them. They were also very chatty and genuinely seemed interested in our places of origin. They also were so kind and had prepared a basket of cookies for us to eat. So sweet!
After the performance I had the opportunity to meet with my uncle and grandma. It again seemed weird that Grandpa was not with us. We had a few hours to chat and take pictures. Though we didn't really get to DO anything I was grateful because I have hardly ever had one-on-one time with my Grandma. When making Salt Lake visits I have usually been with family members, and now, a spouse!
So that is it in a nutshell! It is sad to realize this has been my last semester in collegiate (next semester I have to take a class during the collegiate class time)! I am going to miss it very much. Collegiate has been a family away from family--full of fun laughter, support, and many opportunities to develop a stronger testimony. During my time in the choir I have been able to form bonds and friendships that would not have been made otherwise. I also would not have learned so much about music! I am going to miss it very much.
But even though I will not be in it next semester, I know I am still part of the collegiate "family." Truly, I am Never Alone!
Sunday, April 15, 2012
Example of Fatih
Wow, I seriously have so much to catch up on! I first want to talk about the passing of my grandpa. This was, I think, the fifth funeral I attended, but each time I go, I feel like the person I am going for is closer to me. I loved my great-grandparents and my grandma on my dad's side (heaven knows I still think about her and miss her), but growing up I was able to see the grandpa on my mother's side the more.
For me (and everyone else), it happened so suddenly. So suddenly I didn't really have time to think about it or pay him a visit like I wanted to until I was there in Salt Lake. I think I came to really understand what a funeral was about. I needed closure. It didn't seem real.
When we arrived there we were swept up in the bustle of things. Family members were arriving, I thought my mom and I could go maternity clothes shopping since we didn't get to around Christmas time, I was struggling a little bit with morning sickness, and my sisters and I wanted to help Grandma out. You know, a lot of the time it seemed like Grandpa must have still been in the house. I obviously knew the occasion of our visit, but I kept thinking that Grandpa was downstairs in his room like he usually was on our visits. It was strange to realize he wasn't there, and I couldn't look forward to him being in this house again.
I thought the funeral service and viewing as a whole was wonderful. The grandchildren sang, the children sang, there were wonderful talks given about Grandpa. The funeral home treated us all very well. The dinner provided to us was delicious. The whole atmosphere was one in which we were grieving a loss because we would all miss Grandpa, but we were happy he was in a better place and happy to be together as a family. I remember sitting in the pews with my husband and the grandchildren were playing with one of my nephews. They were giggling and adoring the little guy. My husband leaned over and told me how Grandpa would probably be very happy to see that right now. That was what this life is all about--family. And what a wonderful posterity he has!
I was quite a bit emotional during the viewing. One sweet old man approached me and told me how he will never forget how he and his family had moved into the ward and Grandpa had so warmly welcomed them into the ward. I said something about how that sounded a lot like Grandpa and then teared up. The poor guy realized he made me cry and quickly hurried away. I felt bad I had made him feel guilty because I really did appreciate hearing that story about my grandpa. He really was a wonderful example to all.
I kept noticing teachings of my grandpa that were passed down to me during his life sketch. My mother would tell us the same things growing up. Like "the truth always comes out." As a child this helped me be honest. As I grew older this saying helped me understand that my good works would have their reward in the end--no need for public recognition. As an adult, this saying helps me be more diligent in a world whose morals are quickly deteriorating.
Grandpa also used to say, " what good is the old stock if the new stock isn't any better?" Mom would use this principle in her own parenting. She would tell us how well we were doing in different aspects of our lives and tell us she was doing her job since she was being "outdone." I still believe she is no where close to being "outdone." She is still a shining example to me. But she seemed to think that because we were excelling in areas in our development better than she was, she was on the right track. I am so grateful for her sacrifice and for Grandpa's teachings in this matter. They are an inspiration to me in my own goals as a future (very soon!) parent.
It was also joked about how Grandpa loved sweets. I definitely inherited this trait. At times I do (though not so secretly) stalk up on sweet snacks! He also passed down his love of the outdoors to me. He just enjoyed being outside. I am also one of those people that just enjoy a good walk.
Anyway, the list goes on. I am grateful to grandpa for being the kind of person I can look up to emulate in my own family. He was always so generous and loving towards people. I have always admired his acts of service and learned to love to serve those around me as he did. I have been blessed to be so supported in by family members. In this way, I know I am Never Alone.
For me (and everyone else), it happened so suddenly. So suddenly I didn't really have time to think about it or pay him a visit like I wanted to until I was there in Salt Lake. I think I came to really understand what a funeral was about. I needed closure. It didn't seem real.
When we arrived there we were swept up in the bustle of things. Family members were arriving, I thought my mom and I could go maternity clothes shopping since we didn't get to around Christmas time, I was struggling a little bit with morning sickness, and my sisters and I wanted to help Grandma out. You know, a lot of the time it seemed like Grandpa must have still been in the house. I obviously knew the occasion of our visit, but I kept thinking that Grandpa was downstairs in his room like he usually was on our visits. It was strange to realize he wasn't there, and I couldn't look forward to him being in this house again.
I thought the funeral service and viewing as a whole was wonderful. The grandchildren sang, the children sang, there were wonderful talks given about Grandpa. The funeral home treated us all very well. The dinner provided to us was delicious. The whole atmosphere was one in which we were grieving a loss because we would all miss Grandpa, but we were happy he was in a better place and happy to be together as a family. I remember sitting in the pews with my husband and the grandchildren were playing with one of my nephews. They were giggling and adoring the little guy. My husband leaned over and told me how Grandpa would probably be very happy to see that right now. That was what this life is all about--family. And what a wonderful posterity he has!
I was quite a bit emotional during the viewing. One sweet old man approached me and told me how he will never forget how he and his family had moved into the ward and Grandpa had so warmly welcomed them into the ward. I said something about how that sounded a lot like Grandpa and then teared up. The poor guy realized he made me cry and quickly hurried away. I felt bad I had made him feel guilty because I really did appreciate hearing that story about my grandpa. He really was a wonderful example to all.
I kept noticing teachings of my grandpa that were passed down to me during his life sketch. My mother would tell us the same things growing up. Like "the truth always comes out." As a child this helped me be honest. As I grew older this saying helped me understand that my good works would have their reward in the end--no need for public recognition. As an adult, this saying helps me be more diligent in a world whose morals are quickly deteriorating.
Grandpa also used to say, " what good is the old stock if the new stock isn't any better?" Mom would use this principle in her own parenting. She would tell us how well we were doing in different aspects of our lives and tell us she was doing her job since she was being "outdone." I still believe she is no where close to being "outdone." She is still a shining example to me. But she seemed to think that because we were excelling in areas in our development better than she was, she was on the right track. I am so grateful for her sacrifice and for Grandpa's teachings in this matter. They are an inspiration to me in my own goals as a future (very soon!) parent.
It was also joked about how Grandpa loved sweets. I definitely inherited this trait. At times I do (though not so secretly) stalk up on sweet snacks! He also passed down his love of the outdoors to me. He just enjoyed being outside. I am also one of those people that just enjoy a good walk.
Anyway, the list goes on. I am grateful to grandpa for being the kind of person I can look up to emulate in my own family. He was always so generous and loving towards people. I have always admired his acts of service and learned to love to serve those around me as he did. I have been blessed to be so supported in by family members. In this way, I know I am Never Alone.
Sunday, February 5, 2012
First Baby!
Its about time I actually posted about current events. This is a big one! I'm pregnant! 14 weeks to be precise. I don't mind sharing how this came to be because it is nothing short of a miracle (in my mind at least).
We had thought about the possibility of trying for a baby for sometime, but it didn't seem right. Then last summer I calculated that we could probably have a baby before I graduate and before my big senior recital--that is, if we got pregnant right away. Otherwise, it seemed it would be too late. I think that is when I had a chemical pregnancy. So nothing came of that and we were short on time. So we didn't try the next month. It was important to us that we get our degrees. We knew that they would benefit our family in more than just monetary value.
Then I didn't feel completely right about our decision to wait. I can't explain the feeling, but I've had those kinds of feelings before, and I recognized the source. I knew that if we tried again, we would ultimately risk my degree of choice since we probably weren't going to stick around just for me to finish my last few classes. I would still graduate with A degree, but not necessarily the one I wanted. But God was speaking to me. I had to obey. I told my husband about it, and so we started to try again.
Five months went by. Nothing happened. I was beginning to feel concerned. This was supposed to be the most fertile time of my life, right? Were we supposed to try to get pregnant just so I could find out something was wrong with me so we could get pregnant at a later date? For all I knew (yes, I was thinking dramatically...) this was all so I could go see a doctor and find out I had cancer or something that needed to be taken care of.
The next month we conceived. I was really relieved...and excited! I did the math and figured out that we would have the baby right after we were scheduled to graduate. Wow. It was perfect.
I can't help but think that during this time my faith was being tested. This pregnancy could have messed with my whole degree plan. Four years of hard work! But we moved forward in faith despite all that because of a very special prompting. It was one of those moments where I echo Joseph Smith: "I knew it, and I knew that God knew it." Then because of our faith, we were rewarded tremendously. The timing couldn't have been better.
So yes, I'm experiencing morning sickness, and all kinds of other symptoms. I won't bore everyone with the list. I think that my morning sickness is getting better, though I'm still really frustrated with food in general and my "turbulent tummy." I really want to be done with this stage...
Yes, its been challenging to balance my new physical needs with school. I've only stayed home from school a couple of times. Mostly, I've been able to attend all my classes and get my assignments done. Pregnancy really creates a new time restraint because now I'm limited in the amount of time I'm still ticking. I have to find time to take naps during the day. I've been able to achieve straight A's the last few semesters, but I think I've come to accept that this semester may be different. I don't like the thought, but I like the thought of having a healthy baby more.
The exciting thing is that we've been able to witness one ultrasound and listen to the heartbeat. Both times they said the heartbeat was were it should be. In the ultrasound, at 10 weeks, we saw the baby moving around like crazy! My husband says he or she was just dancing around. It really did look like out baby was a pretty serious break-dancer (hah j/k)! I've been reading that sometimes an active baby means a healthy baby. They also said that our baby appeared to be about four days ahead of schedule, but it wasn't anything to get too excited about. I'm under the impression that our baby will come around the expected due date anyway. Also, I am measuring "perfect."
Ok, so funny story: The first time we went in for an appointment, the scale in the office matched our scale at home. Then over the course of a month, I started to notice that it looked like I was loosing weight. I knew that some women did loose weight in the first trimester due to morning sickness, but I was eating regularly and I wasn't throwing up all that often. I thought maybe this was due to a change in diet, since there were certain foods I just couldn't seem to eat anymore. I started to get concerned when I "lost" around ten pounds. At my next appointment I had gained a couple pounds. Relief! That's about where I needed to be. Not too much, not to little at this point. It seems our scale had slowly broken. It is off by ten pounds!
In any case, it seems that we are doing really well. We are busy with school, but healthy. We are very excited and terrified to be parents. I read everything I can get my hands on. I feel very humbled that God made things turn out "just right" the way he did. It is yet another testimony to me that we are Never Alone!
We had thought about the possibility of trying for a baby for sometime, but it didn't seem right. Then last summer I calculated that we could probably have a baby before I graduate and before my big senior recital--that is, if we got pregnant right away. Otherwise, it seemed it would be too late. I think that is when I had a chemical pregnancy. So nothing came of that and we were short on time. So we didn't try the next month. It was important to us that we get our degrees. We knew that they would benefit our family in more than just monetary value.
Then I didn't feel completely right about our decision to wait. I can't explain the feeling, but I've had those kinds of feelings before, and I recognized the source. I knew that if we tried again, we would ultimately risk my degree of choice since we probably weren't going to stick around just for me to finish my last few classes. I would still graduate with A degree, but not necessarily the one I wanted. But God was speaking to me. I had to obey. I told my husband about it, and so we started to try again.
Five months went by. Nothing happened. I was beginning to feel concerned. This was supposed to be the most fertile time of my life, right? Were we supposed to try to get pregnant just so I could find out something was wrong with me so we could get pregnant at a later date? For all I knew (yes, I was thinking dramatically...) this was all so I could go see a doctor and find out I had cancer or something that needed to be taken care of.
The next month we conceived. I was really relieved...and excited! I did the math and figured out that we would have the baby right after we were scheduled to graduate. Wow. It was perfect.
I can't help but think that during this time my faith was being tested. This pregnancy could have messed with my whole degree plan. Four years of hard work! But we moved forward in faith despite all that because of a very special prompting. It was one of those moments where I echo Joseph Smith: "I knew it, and I knew that God knew it." Then because of our faith, we were rewarded tremendously. The timing couldn't have been better.
So yes, I'm experiencing morning sickness, and all kinds of other symptoms. I won't bore everyone with the list. I think that my morning sickness is getting better, though I'm still really frustrated with food in general and my "turbulent tummy." I really want to be done with this stage...
Yes, its been challenging to balance my new physical needs with school. I've only stayed home from school a couple of times. Mostly, I've been able to attend all my classes and get my assignments done. Pregnancy really creates a new time restraint because now I'm limited in the amount of time I'm still ticking. I have to find time to take naps during the day. I've been able to achieve straight A's the last few semesters, but I think I've come to accept that this semester may be different. I don't like the thought, but I like the thought of having a healthy baby more.
The exciting thing is that we've been able to witness one ultrasound and listen to the heartbeat. Both times they said the heartbeat was were it should be. In the ultrasound, at 10 weeks, we saw the baby moving around like crazy! My husband says he or she was just dancing around. It really did look like out baby was a pretty serious break-dancer (hah j/k)! I've been reading that sometimes an active baby means a healthy baby. They also said that our baby appeared to be about four days ahead of schedule, but it wasn't anything to get too excited about. I'm under the impression that our baby will come around the expected due date anyway. Also, I am measuring "perfect."
Ok, so funny story: The first time we went in for an appointment, the scale in the office matched our scale at home. Then over the course of a month, I started to notice that it looked like I was loosing weight. I knew that some women did loose weight in the first trimester due to morning sickness, but I was eating regularly and I wasn't throwing up all that often. I thought maybe this was due to a change in diet, since there were certain foods I just couldn't seem to eat anymore. I started to get concerned when I "lost" around ten pounds. At my next appointment I had gained a couple pounds. Relief! That's about where I needed to be. Not too much, not to little at this point. It seems our scale had slowly broken. It is off by ten pounds!
In any case, it seems that we are doing really well. We are busy with school, but healthy. We are very excited and terrified to be parents. I read everything I can get my hands on. I feel very humbled that God made things turn out "just right" the way he did. It is yet another testimony to me that we are Never Alone!
Thursday, February 2, 2012
My Sould is Not Meant to be Sacrificed
So, it's obviously been a LONG time since I've blogged last. But at the request of my mother (she always knows how to get me to do things...) I decided to do this one for her.
For those of you that don't know, in high school I was in the habit of putting quotes all over my room. I mean, my room was FILLED with them. Literally, from the ceiling to the floor I had quotes from the scriptures, general authority quotes, inspirational handouts, etc posted everywhere. Well, when I graduated and left for college, my mother took a quiet moment (I guess she missed me or something like that), went into my room and sat on my bed. Taking it in, she leaned back. Lying down, she noticed directly above her I had posted a quote on the ceiling. It caught her attention because it was so curious. It read, "My soul is not meant to be sacrificed."
Out of perplexity she inquired after it. I told her just what it meant, and she asked me to write about it. So here we are.
I guess I should preface this with a little story. One summer I had the amazing opportunity to take a church history trip around the country. I'm sure most of you have heard me talk about this before. I got on a bus full of kids and make a loop around the country in three weeks. We stopped at almost all the significant church history sites. On this trip, our director created as much of a spiritual setting as he could. He required we obey certain rules. We could only listen to church appropriate music, we were not to be romantically involved with anyone, we were to pray together over meals, as we embarked on journeys, and especially at sacred sites. There was a devotional everyday, and every night we had a group study. And we stuck to a very tight schedule so we could make it to all the sites. All these rules were similar to mission rules!
In this environment, we were asked to record our feelings and impressions at each site. I really wanted to have a good, spiritual experience so I remember that at each stop I prayed earnestly that I would receive meaningful impressions. I'm convinced I did. "My soul is not meant to be sacrificed," was one of them.
It has a two-fold meaning. The first requires a basic understanding of what a soul is. In D&C 88:15 we read, "And the spirit and the body are the soul of man." To me this explains that everything we are--our mental capacities, our physical abilities, our spirit, our emotions--comprises our soul. Our soul is not complete without every little piece coming together in the end.
This is why the resurrection is so important! It is as if our soul is literally rent in twain at death: our body is separated from our spirit. For a brief time, our soul is lost. At the resurrection, our soul and perfect (This is a guarantee!) body are reunited--thus completing out soul. With me so far? Good. But this is not all. It is not all said and done here.
What if our spirit is not perfect? There is no guarantee on this one. What if it is tainted with sin? What if "our hearts have been hardened, yea, if we have hardened our hearts against the word, insomuch that it has not been found in us"(Alma 12:13)? Then we suffer what is known as a "spiritual death." In Alma 12:16, we learn that a spiritual death is a death, "as to things pertaining unto righteousness." With the loss of our spirit (not necessarily our spirit body, but our spirituality) our soul is then compromised--lost--this time forever.
This is not meant to be. My soul is not meant to be sacrificed for lust, worldly goods, pride, or shame. Our souls are not meant to be set aside to be "lovers of [our] own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, [and] lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" (2 Timothy 3:2-4). My soul is meant to aspire to become something much more. Eventually, it was meant to be made perfect. It was not meant to be sacrificed for these vain things.
The second meaning o f this phrase is a little more self-centered. I'm the kind of person that can't stand idly by and see loved ones fall to pieces. I just can't do it! So time and time again, I feel like I have to save the world. It's not always healthy. And...I'm a bit of a perfectionist. If something is "supposed to" be a certain way, and it isn't, it tends to drive me absolutely bonkers! Where is justice?!? So, on the flip side, I am also meant to take care of my temporal needs. My physical, emotional, and mental health are a part of my soul too. They are also not meant to be sacrificed for things that aren't really worth my efforts. So I have to decide, is it really a wise choice to be invested in this? It is the never ending quest for balance (Which is another topic for another day).
So there you have it. Despite the long explanation, it is pretty simple enough. Hope that was helpful! I know that we are meant to reach a very high potential. If we keep the end goal in mind it will be that much easier to choose good choices in the here and now. After all, we are really Never Alone in our endeavors. We will receive help from the other side, and our efforts will not be in vain. If we go the other direction and sacrifice what is really important, than those efforts will be in vain. Remember, your soul is not mean to be sacrificed.
For those of you that don't know, in high school I was in the habit of putting quotes all over my room. I mean, my room was FILLED with them. Literally, from the ceiling to the floor I had quotes from the scriptures, general authority quotes, inspirational handouts, etc posted everywhere. Well, when I graduated and left for college, my mother took a quiet moment (I guess she missed me or something like that), went into my room and sat on my bed. Taking it in, she leaned back. Lying down, she noticed directly above her I had posted a quote on the ceiling. It caught her attention because it was so curious. It read, "My soul is not meant to be sacrificed."
Out of perplexity she inquired after it. I told her just what it meant, and she asked me to write about it. So here we are.
I guess I should preface this with a little story. One summer I had the amazing opportunity to take a church history trip around the country. I'm sure most of you have heard me talk about this before. I got on a bus full of kids and make a loop around the country in three weeks. We stopped at almost all the significant church history sites. On this trip, our director created as much of a spiritual setting as he could. He required we obey certain rules. We could only listen to church appropriate music, we were not to be romantically involved with anyone, we were to pray together over meals, as we embarked on journeys, and especially at sacred sites. There was a devotional everyday, and every night we had a group study. And we stuck to a very tight schedule so we could make it to all the sites. All these rules were similar to mission rules!
In this environment, we were asked to record our feelings and impressions at each site. I really wanted to have a good, spiritual experience so I remember that at each stop I prayed earnestly that I would receive meaningful impressions. I'm convinced I did. "My soul is not meant to be sacrificed," was one of them.
It has a two-fold meaning. The first requires a basic understanding of what a soul is. In D&C 88:15 we read, "And the spirit and the body are the soul of man." To me this explains that everything we are--our mental capacities, our physical abilities, our spirit, our emotions--comprises our soul. Our soul is not complete without every little piece coming together in the end.
This is why the resurrection is so important! It is as if our soul is literally rent in twain at death: our body is separated from our spirit. For a brief time, our soul is lost. At the resurrection, our soul and perfect (This is a guarantee!) body are reunited--thus completing out soul. With me so far? Good. But this is not all. It is not all said and done here.
What if our spirit is not perfect? There is no guarantee on this one. What if it is tainted with sin? What if "our hearts have been hardened, yea, if we have hardened our hearts against the word, insomuch that it has not been found in us"(Alma 12:13)? Then we suffer what is known as a "spiritual death." In Alma 12:16, we learn that a spiritual death is a death, "as to things pertaining unto righteousness." With the loss of our spirit (not necessarily our spirit body, but our spirituality) our soul is then compromised--lost--this time forever.
This is not meant to be. My soul is not meant to be sacrificed for lust, worldly goods, pride, or shame. Our souls are not meant to be set aside to be "lovers of [our] own selves, covetous, boasters, proud, blasphemers, disobedient to parents, unthankful, unholy, without natural affection, trucebreakers, false accusers, incontinent, fierce, despisers of those that are good, traitors, heady, highminded, [and] lovers of pleasures more than lovers of God" (2 Timothy 3:2-4). My soul is meant to aspire to become something much more. Eventually, it was meant to be made perfect. It was not meant to be sacrificed for these vain things.
The second meaning o f this phrase is a little more self-centered. I'm the kind of person that can't stand idly by and see loved ones fall to pieces. I just can't do it! So time and time again, I feel like I have to save the world. It's not always healthy. And...I'm a bit of a perfectionist. If something is "supposed to" be a certain way, and it isn't, it tends to drive me absolutely bonkers! Where is justice?!? So, on the flip side, I am also meant to take care of my temporal needs. My physical, emotional, and mental health are a part of my soul too. They are also not meant to be sacrificed for things that aren't really worth my efforts. So I have to decide, is it really a wise choice to be invested in this? It is the never ending quest for balance (Which is another topic for another day).
So there you have it. Despite the long explanation, it is pretty simple enough. Hope that was helpful! I know that we are meant to reach a very high potential. If we keep the end goal in mind it will be that much easier to choose good choices in the here and now. After all, we are really Never Alone in our endeavors. We will receive help from the other side, and our efforts will not be in vain. If we go the other direction and sacrifice what is really important, than those efforts will be in vain. Remember, your soul is not mean to be sacrificed.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
Collegiate Trip
This post is really late, but I still feel I need to express my gratitude for what I got to experience when the collegiate choir got to tour the Midwest over this past break.
Here are a few numbers: Over the course of three weeks we got to tour in 9 states, perform in 35 performances, and we performed for a total of 5,600 people (roughly).
The experience was amazing. I haven't been on a mission and probably will not until my husband and I are older, so this was an opportunity I took seriously. Besides, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. When will I ever get to tour around on a bus with a group full of wonderful singers and perform for public audiences and also do firesides? Not very likely.
Sadly, a lot of our trip consisted of driving. If you have never been to the Midwest, I need to inform you it is very flat, boring, and there are long stretches between the towns. We just had to be in so many places in such a short period of time! Luckily, we did get to do some recreational activities at rest stops (throw a frisbee, stretch, skip around) and some fun things along the way. We got to stop at Mount Rushmore and look around for a while, as well as explore a children's museum (I am of the opinion that they are great for kid's hands on experience). We also saw Lake Superior briefly and stopped at Wall Drug. (For those of you who don't know, it was an old station where people could stop for free ice water and service. Now they still give you free ice water but there is a restaurant and an abundance of shops. You would think you were in a mini shopping center! There are also some fun activities. The whole place is like an amusement park, just without the rides.)
The rest of the time we were singing! We went to high schools and colleges to do exchanges. This was especially fun because we could see what other schools were doing. We got to expand our horizons and take note of what pieces we liked, what techniques we liked, etc. At one university they had us dance to our music to internalize the rhythms and beats. The idea was to get our whole bodies involved in our singing. It was very interesting.
We also held concerts and firesides. In my opinion, these were the the best moments ever! Our concerts and our firesides were dedicated to the sharing of the gospel. We really, genuinely wanted the people to hear our message. I remember being so exhausted from the days events, that I had to muster up a lot of energy to get through the concert. Yet somehow I found strength. These experiences were tiny, little miracles. We had so many opportunities fall right into our laps. After concerts we practically rushed the audiences. We wanted to talk with them and share our testimonies! We wanted them to know that we really were out there for them. All semester long we had been planning this for THEM! So they could feel that much closer to the truth. Statistically speaking, it takes a non-member several times to hear about the church before they will actually stop and listen to what it is all about. I just was excited that maybe we were just one of those numbers. We were bringing people that much closer to hearing about the gospel before they would consider what it was about it nothing else! That got me giddy.
In fact, after our trip we received numerous e-mails from faithful members of the church who told us how inspired our message was and for provided missionary opportunities. One man said he has discussed the gospel with one of his friends, but didn't have the right occasion to ask her to take the missionary discussions. She agreed to come with him to the concert, and then they had a great discussion afterwards. She now will be getting baptized soon. Even if we just touched this one woman, our efforts were worth it. But she was not the only person touched. E-mail keep coming--weeks later--to tell us how our message touched them. Wow! I am so humbled to have been part of this experience--especially because it was the faithful member's faith that helped this be possible the most.
In one town, a woman was given an assignment by her ward to promote our concert. She said she advertized for weeks before we came and asked the members to spread the word to their friends and neighbors. She prayed and fasted for us. She truly exercised her faith. She wanted this experience to be a positive one that could touch the members as well as the community. Her prayers were answered. That day we were all tired (as usual) and arrived for the concert and an exchange with that university. Quite frankly, it was a dead venue. The sound did not project as well as a concert hall would have and the lights were blinding. We were a little frustrated during the sound check because we didn't sound as good as we normally did. But then we gave our concert. The audience was enraptured. They laughed at our jokes and they were silent for our tender moments. They were on their feet a couple of times throughout the whole performance and when we got to greet them, there was no end to their thanksgiving. It was VERY humbling. We sang that night better than we ever did at any other venue. Our show wasn't even as refined as it was by the end of the tour, but it left the greatest impression. I know it was due to the faith of that woman and other like her that wrought those miracles.
It just goes to show that by small and simple things great things are brought to pass (Alma 37:6). We are never alone.
Here are a few numbers: Over the course of three weeks we got to tour in 9 states, perform in 35 performances, and we performed for a total of 5,600 people (roughly).
The experience was amazing. I haven't been on a mission and probably will not until my husband and I are older, so this was an opportunity I took seriously. Besides, it was a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity. When will I ever get to tour around on a bus with a group full of wonderful singers and perform for public audiences and also do firesides? Not very likely.
Sadly, a lot of our trip consisted of driving. If you have never been to the Midwest, I need to inform you it is very flat, boring, and there are long stretches between the towns. We just had to be in so many places in such a short period of time! Luckily, we did get to do some recreational activities at rest stops (throw a frisbee, stretch, skip around) and some fun things along the way. We got to stop at Mount Rushmore and look around for a while, as well as explore a children's museum (I am of the opinion that they are great for kid's hands on experience). We also saw Lake Superior briefly and stopped at Wall Drug. (For those of you who don't know, it was an old station where people could stop for free ice water and service. Now they still give you free ice water but there is a restaurant and an abundance of shops. You would think you were in a mini shopping center! There are also some fun activities. The whole place is like an amusement park, just without the rides.)
The rest of the time we were singing! We went to high schools and colleges to do exchanges. This was especially fun because we could see what other schools were doing. We got to expand our horizons and take note of what pieces we liked, what techniques we liked, etc. At one university they had us dance to our music to internalize the rhythms and beats. The idea was to get our whole bodies involved in our singing. It was very interesting.
We also held concerts and firesides. In my opinion, these were the the best moments ever! Our concerts and our firesides were dedicated to the sharing of the gospel. We really, genuinely wanted the people to hear our message. I remember being so exhausted from the days events, that I had to muster up a lot of energy to get through the concert. Yet somehow I found strength. These experiences were tiny, little miracles. We had so many opportunities fall right into our laps. After concerts we practically rushed the audiences. We wanted to talk with them and share our testimonies! We wanted them to know that we really were out there for them. All semester long we had been planning this for THEM! So they could feel that much closer to the truth. Statistically speaking, it takes a non-member several times to hear about the church before they will actually stop and listen to what it is all about. I just was excited that maybe we were just one of those numbers. We were bringing people that much closer to hearing about the gospel before they would consider what it was about it nothing else! That got me giddy.
In fact, after our trip we received numerous e-mails from faithful members of the church who told us how inspired our message was and for provided missionary opportunities. One man said he has discussed the gospel with one of his friends, but didn't have the right occasion to ask her to take the missionary discussions. She agreed to come with him to the concert, and then they had a great discussion afterwards. She now will be getting baptized soon. Even if we just touched this one woman, our efforts were worth it. But she was not the only person touched. E-mail keep coming--weeks later--to tell us how our message touched them. Wow! I am so humbled to have been part of this experience--especially because it was the faithful member's faith that helped this be possible the most.
In one town, a woman was given an assignment by her ward to promote our concert. She said she advertized for weeks before we came and asked the members to spread the word to their friends and neighbors. She prayed and fasted for us. She truly exercised her faith. She wanted this experience to be a positive one that could touch the members as well as the community. Her prayers were answered. That day we were all tired (as usual) and arrived for the concert and an exchange with that university. Quite frankly, it was a dead venue. The sound did not project as well as a concert hall would have and the lights were blinding. We were a little frustrated during the sound check because we didn't sound as good as we normally did. But then we gave our concert. The audience was enraptured. They laughed at our jokes and they were silent for our tender moments. They were on their feet a couple of times throughout the whole performance and when we got to greet them, there was no end to their thanksgiving. It was VERY humbling. We sang that night better than we ever did at any other venue. Our show wasn't even as refined as it was by the end of the tour, but it left the greatest impression. I know it was due to the faith of that woman and other like her that wrought those miracles.
It just goes to show that by small and simple things great things are brought to pass (Alma 37:6). We are never alone.
Saturday, June 4, 2011
Truthful Resolutions
So this is a paper I wrote for my English class. It is something that I am passionate about and was kind of proud of this little essay. It's not the best writing in the world, but apparently my teacher liked it a lot. It is copied and pasted, so little in-text citations are still included. Just ignore them :)
On a hot, sultry day, Chicken Little sought relief from the sun under an apple tree. The branches leisurely swayed with the breeze and Chicken Little deeply sighed in contentment. About halfway up the tree an apple stem could no longer support the weight of its fruit and slowly began to detach itself from the branches. Finally, with a sudden burst of wind, the apple wrenched itself from its mother bearer and catapulted towards the earth. Unfortunately, it had the misfortune of splitting Chicken Little’s comb.
Startled, Chicken Little jolted to his feet. He looked one way, then the other. What had hit him in the head? There seemed to be no indication to Chicken Little as to whom or what had been the devious offender. He looked up and noticed the clear sky. Not a cloud was in sight to drop such projectiles. A sudden thought struck him: the sky must be falling! Yes, that was it. His breath became shorter; his chest heaved with alarm, and his heart began pumping wildly. He had to warn the world that inevitable destruction was soon at hand!
Undoubtedly, there were those who believed Chicken Little. They may have trusted that what he said was true. They may have trusted his judgment and been sucked into the growing, popular belief. Similarly, if we do not discover truth for ourselves, we will be forced to accept shifting, unstable social beliefs.
What is truth, and how do we discover its authenticity? From the Doctrine and Covenants we learn truth is “knowledge of things as they are, and as they were, and as they are to come” (93:24). The inference may be made that truth is invariable. We can discover truth by examining, questioning, and studying.
First, we must examine our subject. This is essential because in order to form questions, we must first understand what it is we are questioning. In examining, we need to find out what information is being presented on the subject. However, in the process of gathering information, it is likely we will come across information that is not adequately valid. One must keep in mind that “the value of information, facts, figures, and the like, depends on what we make of it—on judgment” (qtd. in McCullough, 2008, p. 2). Drawing from reliable sources and using information relevant in its context is important.
Then, we must question our subject. When questioning our observations, we can better come to understand:
By questioning [Socrates] believes that at some point, after they have cleared away all the rubbish, the interlocutors will figure things out, discover the principles that ring true, that make sense of things. Questions thus reign supreme, for only questions, not lecture, can give birth to understanding. (Merril, c. 1999, p. 2)
Speculation increases interest and opens up for more study. It facilitates our ability to refine our thoughts and look at the information we gathered with an interpretive eye.
Abigail Adams once said, “Learning is not attained by chance. It must be sought with ardor and attended with diligence” (McCullough, 2008, p.2). This process of studying our subject requires a conscious, concise effort to find what is being sought. Faithful and strenuous study can enhance our perspective by compelling truth to step through barriers of false pretence, guile, and enmity, and into the perceptible light. Only by diligent study can conclusions be attained.
The research and conclusions reached should be done with all humility and with the acknowledgment that we are subject to human error. “One can have all the facts and miss the truth” (McCullough, 2008, p.2). It may be that we find our assumptions were wrong and the day may come for reconciliation.
We should, when we feel comfortable with our conclusion, desire a need for action. Knowledge alone cannot define our character. We are required to act. “For [studies] teach not their own use, but that is a wisdom without them and above them, won by observation” (Bacon, 1597, p. 1). One ought to come up with a definite list of resolutions that are in accordance with his/her newfound knowledge. It is easier to live by such resolutions when they are a substantial part of a mindset before opposition is ever encountered.
Why is reaching and being loyal to our own resolution important? Powerful influences of the world that we may not acknowledge in our daily circumstances are prevalent. There is a constant appeal to authority. Religion and philosophies that uphold morals are pushed aside in the name of science and other theories. Scientists who belong to institutions of good repute gain respect based on their accomplishments. Somehow these facts give them a right to refute absolute truth. It becomes increasingly more difficult to oppose views condoned by a prestigious circle of society. Ralph Waldo Emerson once said, “I am ashamed to think how easily we capitulate to badges and names, to large societies and dead institutions” (1841, p. 3). He understood how this appeal to authority could limit our own reasoning.
Another tactic of persuasion, and perhaps a little more familiar to all, is the bandwagon approach. The bandwagon approach is where a belief is accepted on the pretense of safety in numbers. If a wide populace is embracing an idea, it becomes more widely known; therefore, it must be a safe idea. Influence is especially prevalent when we observe that which is most widely used, praised as effectual. While unable to see the alternatives, we assume the product or practice is more desirable, and we slip into the conformity of public trends.
A similar practice is the adherence to social norms. These are social practices that seem to be a part of society. Some of these norms are harmless: such as, giving people space when you talk to them, tipping a waiter, walking on the right side of the side-walk, etc. Adversely, some social norms can be harmful. “The other terror . . . is our consistency; a reverence for our past act or word, because the eye of others have no other data for computing our orbit than our past acts, and we are loath to disappoint them” (Emerson, 1841, p.5). Some cultural rituals have become our way of life, and we are afraid to “go against the grain” because we would be looked at for our differences—not our brilliance.
It is human nature to fear differences and being refused acceptance. Such persuasions are hard to resist. They are almost seamless with the ways of life that seem to ring a tone of familiarity in our ears. Distinction between what is benign and what is malicious requires discernment. If we yield to enticement, we will be “tossed . . . with every wind of doctrine” (Ephesians 4:14). Thus, a life must be lived in accordance with its own principles.
The individual must obtain truth (not decide what is true for him/her) as an intrinsic property. It is not acceptable to accept ideas that are believed on the basis of popular acceptance. Boyd K. Packer once told a story about a classroom of children who had found a kitten. As the class excitedly gathered around the animal, they tried to determine if it was a boy or a girl. One boy suggested that they could determine the kitten’s gender if they voted on it! Even if they had voted, the truth could not be altered (1993).
There is a choice: we can either believe all we hear, or we can critically think about the information and use judgment. Perhaps Chicken Little’s friends would have been better off if they had thought through the prospect of the sky falling. They might have discarded the idea and avoided undesired stress. Instead, they fell into the trap of popular belief. Unfortunately, a dark haze of deceit, errors in logic, and lack of information can obscure truth.
As avid critical thinkers, we can determine the course our lives will take. “The quality of one’s thinking determines the quality of one’s life” (Merrill p.2). We can take responsibility for our lives and the decisions we make if we intentionally think through them. If we do not decide where we stand before we are confronted with a choice, we will likely chose what is familiar to us. What is familiar to us is often what we are exposed to most—not necessarily what is best or most efficient. We may seek to reach decisions of our lives on our terms and refrain from complying with socialized behaviors and beliefs that have been unconsciously instilled in us.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
Mothers
Happy Mother's Day!
Speaking of mothers, this week in one of my classes, my teacher had us draw family maps. These were a visual representation of our families and the relationships we had with them. For example, because my Dad and my Mom were always close and made decisions together while I was growing up, they would be placed close in proximity together and have a strong bond drawn around them.
I realized while I was drawing our my family, that we all had good relationships with each other and they were all pretty even. At least as far as I could tell. But interestingly enough I realized that my mother connected well with each of her children. This may be due to the fact that she only bore girls and girls tend to bond well emotionally through warm communication, but I think she was also a mother who always listened to the spirit. I will forever be grateful for that.
I remember many times where I would have a rough day and my mother would know just what to say at the right time. I remember, in some cases, I would resent what she said, because frankly, it was true. And the truth hurt. I would let the storm of my frustrations carry me to my room and I would try to disregard what she said. But then as the rain and lightning dissipated, I would inevitably realize that she was right. Every time. How would this be possible in all the episodes of my life had she not listened to the spirit? I am so grateful for my mother. I know that with her, I will Never be Alone.
Speaking of mothers, this week in one of my classes, my teacher had us draw family maps. These were a visual representation of our families and the relationships we had with them. For example, because my Dad and my Mom were always close and made decisions together while I was growing up, they would be placed close in proximity together and have a strong bond drawn around them.
I realized while I was drawing our my family, that we all had good relationships with each other and they were all pretty even. At least as far as I could tell. But interestingly enough I realized that my mother connected well with each of her children. This may be due to the fact that she only bore girls and girls tend to bond well emotionally through warm communication, but I think she was also a mother who always listened to the spirit. I will forever be grateful for that.
I remember many times where I would have a rough day and my mother would know just what to say at the right time. I remember, in some cases, I would resent what she said, because frankly, it was true. And the truth hurt. I would let the storm of my frustrations carry me to my room and I would try to disregard what she said. But then as the rain and lightning dissipated, I would inevitably realize that she was right. Every time. How would this be possible in all the episodes of my life had she not listened to the spirit? I am so grateful for my mother. I know that with her, I will Never be Alone.
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