Well, it is nice to be home again, reunited with loved ones and some old friends (actually most of my old friends are gone or still in school). I have to say, the adjustment has been hard. I was basically going to sin city from my little Zion. Talk about culture shock :) It has been hard to keep myself spiritually fed like I was able to while I was at school. I can't go to a devotional every week, or have a prayer before every class to invite the spirit. Nor are good friends I have had here to help lift me up. I definitely have great things to look foreword to when I return. I do not regret my decision of coming home, though.
Previous to my homecoming I didn't know why I felt my Heavenly Father wanted me to come home. I just felt I should. But as I've been home, though difficult, things have begun to unfold for me. Since I have been home I have been able to attend my sister's graduation and my Great-grandma's funeral. Both were great experiences to see family, to catch up with them, and to see the expressions of love in the family. And though job -hunting has been the biggest pain of my life in this economic crisis, I have the opportunity to be grateful for the few opportunities and skills I have. When I decided to come home I knew it was going to be difficult to find a job in a big city where people with more experience than I have and people with families are losing their jobs and trying to find something to support their family with. Also, it doesn't help that I will return to school where most places want to take the time to train someone who is going to stay around for a while. And I feel I must be honest about that. Before I came I was reading the scriptures and I came across (I believe I was lead to it) 3 Nephi 13:25-34 (also found in Matthew 6):
" 25 And now it came to pass that when Jesus had spoken these words he looked upon the atwelve whom he had chosen, and said unto them: Remember the words which I have spoken. For behold, ye are they whom I have chosen to bminister unto this people. Therefore I say unto you, ctake no thought for your life, what ye shall eat, or what ye shall drink; nor yet for your body, what ye shall put on. Is not the life more than meat, and the body than draiment?
26 Behold the afowls of the air, for they sow not, neither do they reap nor gather into barns; yet your heavenly Father feedeth them. Are ye not much better than they?
27 Which of you by taking thought can add one cubit unto his stature?
28 And why take ye thought for raiment? Consider the alilies of the field how they grow; they toil not, neither do they spin;
29 And yet I say unto you, that even Solomon, in all his glory, was not arrayed like one of these.
30 Wherefore, if God so clothe the grass of the field, which today is, and tomorrow is cast into the oven, even so will he clothe you, if ye are not of little faith.
31 Therefore take no thought, saying, What shall we eat? or, What shall we drink? or, Wherewithal shall we be clothed?
32 For your heavenly Father knoweth that ye have need of all these things.
33 But aseek ye first the bkingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things shall be added unto you.
34 Take therefore no thought for the morrow, for the morrow shall take thought for the things of itself. aSufficient is the day unto the evil thereof. "
I was so grateful for that! I knew that somehow I would be able to make it. I think my ungrateful heart is just impatient. I have been home a few weeks and I haven't yet found a job tied to any particular company, though I have tried to do something everyday to reach that goal. But on the other hand, I have been blessed with a few opportunities to sustain me and will allow me to make housing payments this summer. I thank my God for the blessings I have been allowed. He truly is merciful and keeps me in mind, even when I am undeserving. I have found, when I am not listening, He will keep trying to reach me because of His grace and because He knows my heart. Truly, because of his miraculous power I am Never Alone and never will be.
