We are still putting our noses to the grindstone! What can I say? School has taken a huge precedence over our life, as we just got through mid-terms and are trying to get through the remainder of the semester. But in being so busy we have not forgotten the important things like family scripture study and prayer and our "pillow talk."
Pillow talk is a term we once heard at a ward fireside describing how a couple would finally get into bed together and just talk about their day and tell each other they love the other - especially if they were busy during the day. My husband and I reminisce about how when we were single we used to stay up until odd hours of the night talking. Oddly, some things haven't changed (except that we do go to bed earlier)!
Recently I got called into my ward's Primary Presidency. We haven't had much time to do a lot together yet, because we had ward conference consecutively followed by stake conference, but we have met together and started making small changes to meet the needs of our student ward. Formerly, we trumped the larges nursery in our student stake (we happen to have a lot of older married couples in our ward), but now we have been encountering some changes that have reduced the size of the nursery (thus we are making some changes). I have been thankful for this calling, not only because children are so darn cute, but because I think the Lord knew that I needed to be involved more. This has been something I have been thinking about.
I tend to have a reserved personality and am content most of the time to only offer my assistance if I see a need. For some reason, I have to be certain that there is a need before I fulfill it. I don't normally assert myself if I don't think it necessary at the time. For example, we were sitting in church and a mother of two was struggling to keep both her children entertained during the meeting. I was sitting a few rows in back of her and observing her cute children, when to my (and the congregation's) dismay, her toddler fell over and hit the pew in front of him. The mother immediately picked him up and started rocking him. I know this child, and the boy is a tank. He can fall over steps of stairs and get up in a second. No problem. But this time he did start to cry and she rocked him back and forth. I observed that if she could not go out into the foyer with her child, because that would mean she had to leave her other baby unattended. But I wasn't sure if she wanted to go into the hall. I though about rushing up there and holding her baby for her, but it seemed that the boy was handling the fall pretty well. I thought I would offer my assitance if the child's crying didn't subside, or got louder. I was waiting for some sign that would compel me to act. Then a girl I know got up from her pew in front of the pew and did what I was considering. She just did it. And the mother was able to get up and carry her child out.
I felt very ashamed after this experience. I had let uncertainty dictate my choices, and I was waiting for something to necessitate my actions. I should have just risen to the occassion like the girl in front of me. This experience prodded some thinking on my part. I am reminded of the parable of the talents (Matthew 25: 14-30). Often we view this parable as a parable about talents, such as musical abilities, hobbies, athletic achievements, etc. All of these are good and commendable. I think we should develop all that God has given us. But this being a parable, I am not opposed to looking into multiple meanings. In Matthew 25, the Savior prefaced the parable of the talents by telling the parable of the ten virgins. We know that the oil that allowed the five wise virgins to light the way for them to join the wedding party was testimony. Spencer W. Kimball said of this testimony, "In our lives the oil of preparedness is accumulated drop by drop in righteous living" (Faith Precedes the Miracle, 256). We can gather from this that it is righteous living that our Heavenly Father cares about. It is through building his kingdom that our testimonies are strengthened and the testimonies of others are strengthened as well. Concerning talents, do we not have talents and abilities for the purpose of sharing them? They certainly are not for us to hoard away. They are for the building of His kingdom. I believe the message of the parable of the talents was to illustrate the statement, "to whom much is given, much is required" (Doctrine and Covenants 82:3). To name a few, I have been given the gospel of Jesus Christ. I have been given a wonderful family who raised me well. I have been given a wonderful husband who loves me and can support me in my achievements.
Could I really believe that all these things were given to me to benefit me alone? Surely not. These blessings are not mine to begin with. How would I face my God and tell him that the talents he gave me were spent on myself and that I did not invest my talents to the "exchanges" so the Lord could have received some "usury" (Matthew 25:27)? And I know that if I give of myself, I will be blessed with more ability to bless others more. If I fill my lamp, then I am prepared to light the way for others. We have all been given so much. If we do not develop what we have been given it can all be taken away. "For whosoever hath [developed his talents], to him shall be given, and he shall have more abundance: but whosoever hath not [developed his talents], from him shall be taken away even that he hath"(Matthew 25:29, Matthew 13:12).
At last, I have decided to make a better effort in sharing myself. I have already taken the initiative a few times this week, and I can promise, the spirit's influence in my life is even stronger. This perpetuates even more faith, which will allow me to build even more blocks of faith on these new blocks. I am overcome with gratitude for my testimony in my Lord, Jesus Christ, for making it possible for us to return to Him. A way for us has been provided. We must simply follow the path. I am thankful for the influence of the Holy Ghost which can help us fill our lamps and have the courage and insight to help those around us. Truly, we are Never Alone.
