Married life is great! What can I say more?
I was married in the house of the Lord about five weeks ago. Most of my family made it to the wedding and were all there to support me. The day before the wedding I went through the temple for the first time. My mother was able to escort me and my sister and grandmother were there right by my side and supporting me the whole way. I was grateful for them because they helped me during the process and gave me helpful hints. But mostly I was glad they could share in the experience. Afterwords, my family took us out to eat for the occasion. It was a good chance for me to catch up and see family and friends. I still couldn't believe that I was getting married in the morning. There were persistent jokes that, "It wasn't too late to back out now!" haha. I couldn't imagine not getting married!
Needless to say, I hardly slept that night and I was up very early that morning with my sister who was gracious enough to do my hair even though she had a small son she was taking care of and still wanted to get ready herself. I was in the temple by 7:30 and waiting for the groom. There were items of business that had to be taken care of and then we were on our way! My mom was allowed to fuss over me and help me get prepared. I was a little on edge because, well, it was my wedding day and I was a little nervous! I couldn't believe it was happening (though at the same time, I did believe that it was happening), and didn't exactly want to look perfect for the ceremony, but wanted to prepare myself spiritually. I just felt like I was being rushed from one spot to the next and was afraid I wasn't going to get the right spirit into my heart. When I was completely dressed, my mother left to be escorted(?) or find the sealing room, and I was left in the bride's room again. I said a silent prayer for a time and then felt as if I should look up. I almost expected to see my grandmother there who had passed on (I'm a little embarrassed to hold myself in such respect. I was hoping to see her or feel her presence). When I did, I saw the temple worker waiting to escort me. I was taken to a room where I found my husband-to-very-soon-be and we together were taken to the celestial room where we waited to be escorted to the sealing room. We sat together and talked. I noticed another couple in the room together. They looked so happy and content with what they were doing. I wondered what we looked like. I knew my stomach was not exactly treating me very well, as I had only a chance to eat a small snack on the way over in the car with my mom. I knew I was nervous, but knew what I wanted to do.
We were escorted up to the room and before entering, met our sealer int he hallway. He was so cute and personable! He was interested in us, and we answered more questions. Then we were admitted into the room. I had been told what I was supposed to do, so I knew what was expected of me, but not entirely what I would be promising to God and my spouse. My goal was to listen as intently as possible so that I might be able to more sincerely commit to my covenants while in the making of them.
When I entered the room, my fear melted away. There were so many people there that I loved and that I knew loved me. We were the center of attention, which I was not exactly used to, but I couldn't help but feel over-joyed. They were all beaming at me! I sat in the designated spot and waited, holding my mother's hand and the hand of my fiance.
The ceremony was beautiful, and I cried through the part that was meant for my husband to participate in. Our particular sealer didn't want us to look at each other, which was a little disappointing, but I am half glad that my husband didn't see me cry. (It wasn't the most attractive thing in the world :)
After it was over, we were able to look in the mirrors and then were directed into the hallway with our parents. We did so and then in the hallway my husband did finally get a little emotional. He was so excited that we were a family.
The rest is history! We went and got pictures and then we were eventually finding ourselves at our luncheon. Most of the things we planned didn't run so smoothly, but I didn't mind. I was a little bummed that our first dance was cut short due to technical difficulties, but I didn't mind much else too bad. I wished my sister's song could have worked out more smoothly with the microphone, and that we didn't have to take time out to fix technical difficulties, but overall, it was just nice to be there with friends and family. In fact, my favorite parts were being able to talk to those who came to support me. It was all very sweet.
Of course, and indisputably, the temple has become even more a jewel to me. I have to say,the first time through was not what I was expecting, but I just could not wait to go back to gain a better understanding. I almost think I have it strait now, as we have been back weekly. We even attended a session on our honeymoon! But I have been so excited to learn more and more. Also, the more I pay attention to the words being said, the more I realize that everything is in sync with everything in the scriptures and everything I had already committed myself to, though not officially. It motivates me more to become better and do better now that I have made those commitments under covenant to my Heavenly Father. Also, I keep learning more and more! God helps me learn in more ways tan one. I just have to be willing to listen and have an open mind.
In my experience, I have always considered myself a person who learns intellectually, by thought process, as well as by the spirit's witness. I found I definitely do need to utilize both simultaneously while trying to get as much as I can out of the ceremony. I need to cognitively think and then allow the spirit to guide my thoughts. I've had a lot of "ah ha" moments and think I"m catching onto the swing of things. Being a newbie, I feel incompetent a lot of the times, where at other times I am at peace with what I have been able to accomplish thus far. I have felt in the past as if I have been plopped into a whole new world and get to discover it! Because those things are sacred, there is no room to discuss them or make mention of them outside the temple. This makes learning happen all within the walls of the temple and consequently, for brief periods of time, which causes me to want to return time and time again.
In addition to the new knowledge I am gaining through study and pondering in my heart, I cannot help but notice the spirit that ever present in the Lord's house (Even when I am upset or struggling internally, I am at peace in the temple). For I do believe our Lord and Savior does reside there. I am humbled to think that I have the privilege to walk where He has walked. But when you think about it, that is also a commandment.
Jacob 1:8 reads, "Wherefore, we would to God that we could persuade all men not to rebel against God, to provoke him to anger, but that all men would believe in Christ, and view his death, and suffer his cross and bear the shame of the world." We are to become so close to Christ that we not only walk the roads of Palestine with him (The Living Christ), or rather, study his life and follow it, but that we also bear the consequences of such actions. Weather it be the sting of personal sacrifice or the spite of the world, we need to be with Him 100%.
Once again, I repeat, I am humbled to think that I have the privilege to walk where He has walked. In Acts 5:42 it says that the Apostles departed from a council of Pharisees and rejoiced that "they were counted worthy to suffer shame for his name." I know that I have covenanted at baptism to take his name upon me, and as a disciple of Christ, have the privilege of walking with him through the torrents of anger we have to pass through in this world. I know my covenants will keep me strong as I ponder over them continually in His holy house for I am Never Alone.
I am despised of the world because it would have me believe that I am uneducated or close minded to believe there is a God. I know that I am very open minded to believe in him - in a being I only know to be real by faith conceived from personal discipline (we can only receive revelation if we live worthy of that gift) and prayer. I am despised of the world because it would have me believe that I married too young and that I should have first lived for a time with my boyfriend to "test" the relationship. I know that I have done the right thing by promising myself to my husband and by making a covenant with God. Because we are young we will grow together, and grow stronger for it. Instead of being intimate with a number of persons I will only be intimate with one. This love, unfeigned and unspotted, will be allowed to flourish and not be detained because it is growing in all sincerity and without fear. I am despised of the world because it would have me believe that I should be in the work force to get personal gain for myself and my family. I know that I and my family will be more benefited by my dedication to them of my time and talents, not my money. Why should I be expected to contribute my time and talents to a company or business that I hold no eternal bonds or covenants with and to whom I do not owe my undeviating attention? I know that I and my family will be blessed for my effort to bless them.
How do I know these things? I have studied and know that science has actually proven these truths. Research has indicated that a child who has been neglected does not develop the same way a child tho has not develops. I use the word neglected very loosely. I this may include children whose mothers are not there when they come home from school, or children whose parents, while even at home, do not give them the play time they deserve. Also statistically, couples to cohabit are less likely to have a lasting relationship. Every relationship will have its bumps and ruts, but those who are willing to work through those in love and harmony will always come out on top and not sever ties. But those who are not committed will detach themselves the minute they face opposition. This results in a lot of heartbreak and is detrimental to children involved. As for a belief in God, this is also, ironically supported by study. The organization of the earth itself, is a phenomenon that is inexplicable to the mind which studies its diversity and organic chemistry in depth. It is unbelievable! And even scientists who study for years cannot remotely compare to the intelligence it took to create this world. Even Einstein admitted that it would be merely impossible to inhabit the world we do without a creator to have given it direction. Also, science is always changing. God, however, is not. And nothing science seems to adequately discover is contrary to what we already know.
Alma made a similar argument when speaking with an anti-Christ named Nehor, who was requesting that Alma give him a sign to prove that there is a God. Alma said, "The scriptures are laid before thee, yea, and all things denote there is a God; yea, even the earth, and all things that are upon the face of it, yea, and its motion, yea, and also all the planets which move in their regular form do witness that there is a Supreme Creator."(Alma 30:44) But Alma also says, "And this is not all. Do ye not suppose that I know of these things myself? Behold, I testify unto you that I do know that these things whereof I have spoken are true...Behold, I say unto you they are made known unto me by the Holy Spirit of God. ...for the Lord God hath made them manifest unto me by his Holy Spirit; and this is the spirit of revelation which is in me." Similarly, I cannot claim to know the things I know by the wisdom of men. For like Alma, I know of myself, but not by myself. I have also received a witness from God and I know these things are true. I know my marriage is pure, right, and virtuous. It has been sealed by the Holy Spirit of Promise (D&C 132:19) and there is none who can destroy that or undermine it. This is the foundation for my new life.
