Ten Keys

So I wrote a paper for my marriage class and wanted to share it :)

Top Ten Keys of Marriage
By Aubrey Colvin

Firstly, before I share the ten principles of marriage that I believe to be the most beneficial to enable a successful marriage, I must preface my presentation with a brief lecture on charity, or more commonly known as love. With every aspect of marriage love plays an essential factor. It is our supreme motivator, advocate, welding link, and power.
When Christ made the ultimate sacrifice he not only allowed his life to be taken, but he also suffered for our sins. Every pain that we have ever experienced was replayed or produced before they had ever occurred. Because of the atonement’s infinite nature all are encompassed by it. In Tad A. Callister’s, The Infinite Atonement, he expresses that the atonement (in a nutshell) was infinite in time, power, coverage, depth, suffering, and lastly, love. In order to be able to complete the atonement, Christ had to love us with a deep love. We as imperfect beings find it hard to comprehend such a miraculous thing. Though the Savior begged to have the cup pass from him (Matthew 26:39), he knew his role and that our hope depended on him. He had compassion on us and underwent the atoning sacrifice.
Because of this love that he has for us, one can imagine how much He desires for us to be happy and utilize his atonement. This will come up in our discussion later, however I must convey the certainty I feel that Christ wants us to also love our neighbor, or those that he suffered for. The worth of every soul is great in the sight of God (D&C 18:10). We must know that God loves his children and encourages us to do the same. In order to make a marriage work, the important element of love is essential in every aspect. If we truly love someone, we will be able to fulfill the principles of marriage that will be discussed.
• Active Listening
This is a strategy used by many programs and especially marriage councilors. The idea is that while one partner is expressing what she/he is feeling or their concerns, the other partner is listening, and then makes sure they understand what their partner is saying by repeating what they heard until the partner who was talking first verifies that they are getting the right idea. They may use preface these ideas by using phrases such as, “I’m hearing…,” “I’m getting that….,” “So, what you’re saying is….,” etc. Active listeners have been trained to use this technique to improve their marriages because it is a concrete, civil way to negotiate a disagreement.
But in order for active listening to be effective, one must realize that their heart must be in it. If a listener is not sincere, no matter how well their technique is, it will mean nothing to a couple in the long run. A listener who is getting the gist out of a conversation may not internalize that it is a true concern of the other partner, that what they are expressing is a genuine concern that should become their own, or that they should actually do something about it!
If a couple incorporated their love for each other in active listening, the conversation would change dramatically. Instead of begrudgingly listening in order to pass the “test” as to weather they understood what they were being told correctly, they would start to not only understand what was being said, but they would begin to understand their partner. Once this is accomplished, a couple may move forward.
• Validation
Another strategy is validation. When there is a disagreement, couples may be asked to validate each other, or rather their feelings. This is suspending judgment, and accepting one’s partner for who they are even though they may disagree on a particular judgment. It may help a couple understand that they are still a united couple because they can understand one another’s points of views. They are not to be criticized for the way they feel.
Again, if this strategy is merely played out, one cannot receive the desired effect. Validation should not be a means to pass judgment on a partner, but rather, be the mean by which that effect is expressed.
It is hard not to pass judgment on those that do not see things our way. Satan and his followers own the most common rut we find ourselves in. It is the illusion that we see things as they are – better than the rest of the world, including our spouse. This is a mindset that serves as a barrier between our spouse and us. Not only do would we find ourselves disconnected to our spouse, but also God.
• Overcoming Pride
Pride is an enormous contributor to almost every marital conflict. Pride is not liberating, as most will initially believe, but it is captivating. It works against us in all relationships, including our relationship with ourselves. Going along with our previous topic, we find that pride condemns us to thinking that all our own ideas are superior to our spouse’s. This will ultimately, conspicuously end in conflict.
Ezra Taft Benson defined pride as enmity. Enmity towards God and our fellowmen. Enmity means “hatred toward, hostility to, or a state of opposition.” Those are some strong words. Is he suggesting that anytime we feel rebellious, hard-hearted, unrepentant, or easily offended we are being proud? Of course! Pride takes many forms and is more around us than we may realize from day to day. It will take a lot of practice to be able to identify pride from day to day. But one thing is constant that we know: pride is always a sin.
In our marriages we must know that if there is conflict or opposition, pride, or enmity, is involved. In that moment where the natural man is working against us, physically as well as emotionally, we do not always have the eternal perspective to see that pride is working against us, not in favor of us, and that it is inhibiting our progress in our quest for eternal life and successful marriages. Darkness cannot coincide with light. Pride cannot coincide with true compromise and harmony in our marriages.
• Change from Within
Though it is natural to have pride, this does not exempt us from hope. We know that change, or repentance is possible. In our marriages we must realize that we cannot and should not try to change our partner, but we can only change and focus on ourselves.
Again, love becomes an imperative factor on this matter. Love can motivate us to change for the benefit of our partner. If was are truly actively listening and validating in love as opposed to merely duty, as mentioned before, we will find ourselves trying to change our nature to better facilitate the rectification of conflict.
Change is caused by principles of the gospel. It is our change from within, or the changing of our hearts that compel the changing of our outside behaviors. Boyd K. Packer once said, “The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than the study of behavior will improve behavior.” If we practice good behaviors out of obligation alone, and not out of the desire of our hearts, it will mean next to nothing in our marriage. It will become a façade, mocking the divine relationship God intended us to have. But rather, when we turn our lives over to God, he will inspire us to utilize the atonement in our lives and repentance, or change, will take place. Emerson once said, “The only gift is a portion of thyself.” The greatest gift we can ever give our spouse, or the only gift we can give back to the Savior, is our hearts turned towards the right source of power.
• Sacrifice
One of the best demonstrations of love is sacrifice. Not only do we sacrifice our nature to God to better improve our marriage, but also we must sacrifice our time. The definition of sacrifice is to give up something for something greater or better. This means that though we really want to satisfy our wants and desires, we must put our partner’s wants and desires ahead of our own. Now, one might look at this and say, “Wow. That is a huge risk. Don’t my dreams matter? Don’t my needs and desires count for something?” The answer is of course. There needs to be a balance in one’s life in order to maintain stability and order. I submit that dreams and desires, in a marriage, should be focused on the other partner. This will actually bring happiness. Catherine Thomas once said, “Much of the emotional pain that we have does not come from the love that we were not given in the past, but from the love we ourselves are not giving in the present.”
There are many ways to sacrifice time and effort so as to let a spouse know that we love them. John M. Gottman lists an idea in his book, “The Seven Principles For Making Marriage Work.” John Gottman has studies many couples for years and come up with his own theories as to what makes marriage work and what doesn’t by observation and then took his theories to develop his own counseling strategies. He began to notice from couples who entered his workshops that marriages that functioned healthily had something in common. They were devoting an extra five hours a week to their marriage. That doesn’t seem like a lot, right? But it was a consistent pattern in marriages. Here are the things the five hours included:
- During partings (in the morning usually before work) couples learned about one thing that was happening in their spouse’s life that day
- When the couple was reunited they engaged in stress-relieving conversation (usually at the end of a workday)
- Everyday the couples found some way to communicate admiration and appreciation to their spouse (VERY important)
- Couples found ways everyday to show their affection and in that affection not hold back love due to irritations built up over the day
- A weekly date was planned that allowed the couple’s time together be spent building their connection. The stress of the week is laid aside, and the couple is able to turn towards each other.
This may not seem like a lot, and thinking in terms of time consumption it may not be, but it makes a difference. Just a little amount of time dedicated to a loved one makes all the difference. It shows little by little, but more importantly, consistently that the spouse one loves so dearly is cared about and loved.
In a marriage we are taught to obey a celestial law. Ezra Taft Benson said, “We covenant to live the law of consecration. This law is that we consecrate our time, talents, strength, property, and money for the upbuilding of the kingdom of God on the earth and the establishment of Zion.” We know that Zion is built on eternal principles. Therefore we know that the law of consecration must be a part of our lives in the little Zion that we create in our families. I have not been through the temple, and do not claim to fully understand the covenants made within, but I do know that the joining of two people within those walls is the creating of on entity. What is mine becomes my spouse’s and what is my spouse’s becomes mine. This includes everything. Our dreams become each other’s dreams. Our hopes become each other’s hopes. Our desires become one. Of course this is not easy. There is the unmistakable possibility of conflict, and that is where consecration comes in. We must both learn to take it all and lay it on the alter. If there is some petty habit that comes between my husband and me it must be done away with. If there is something that frustrates me and is causing me to question my spouse’s divine nature, it must be done away with. Just as the Lamanite king in the Book of Mormon desired to give away all his sins to know God (Alma 22:18), so must I give away all factors that damage a marriage to know the godliness of my spouse’s soul.
One might think that this is asking too much of one person. But remember that sacrifice is the giving up of one thing for the greater benefit. One will be happier for merely the opportunity to sacrifice. Joseph Smith once said, “A religion that does not require the sacrifice of all things never has power sufficient to produce the faith necessary unto life and salvation…” Remember that marriage plays an essential role in our salvation. Let us have faith in the covenants we have made. Because of our sacrifices, our marriage will benefit far greater than what the sacrifices cost us. Our faith will grow in the celestial covenant we made.
- Do Not Focus On Negativity
Sometimes when you are the person that knows another person the best you get the best of both worlds. You know their strengths better than anyone else, and on the flip side, you know their weaknesses better than anyone else. It is easy to slip into a pattern of negative concern when one has the option of the two.
One might think that they have unlocked the truth about their spouse. “The rest of the world views them as this wonderful person, but I know what they are really like,” one might say. One need only realize that, as with anything, there is opposition in all things and that it is a matter of choice as to weather to focus on the negative qualities of a spouse or to focus on their good qualities. As a spouse, we can undoubtedly assume that we know our wife or husband in a way know one else does. We know tenderness that could be shielded from the rest of the world. We know acts of kindness and service that no other being has witnessed. It may be that our spouse is a hard worker that they never receive credit for. These are the things that need are attention and gratitude.
One of my favorite optimists was President Gordon B. Hinckley. He once said, “Be happy in all that which you do – cultivate a spirit of gladness in your homes. Subdue and overcome all elements of anger, impatience, and unbecoming talk one to another. Let the light of the gospel shine in your faces wherever you go and in whatever you do.” In this excerpt I can’t help but notice words that induce action. He says cultivate, subdue, and overcome. A good attitude is one that facilitates these actions, but does not bring them about in of itself. One must act for one’s self. Adversity will never completely be absent, but if one is able to focus on the positives, it will make the process that much easier.
- Love Maps
One way to look at one’s spouse positively is to build love maps. This is also a strategy used by Gottman. He says that love maps are “that part of your brain where you store all the relevant information about your partner’s life.” This is where you explore the things in their day-to-day life, where you store their favorites color, food, and activity. This is where you know when they have a bad day and how to best help them bounce back.
In one of my favorite movies, Fireproof, the characters Michael Simmons and Caleb Holt discuss the “Love Dare” that Caleb’s father has presented to him in hopes that he save his marriage. Caleb reads from the “Love Dare” Book that one must study their partner. While a couple dates, their objective is to get to know one another as much as possible, but once married, sometimes they do not keep up with one another’s lives and do not continue to study one another. The idea the “Love Dare” was presenting was to continue one’s education. If one had earned a high school diploma on their spouse, then they should continue until earning a bachelor degree, followed by a masters, and so on.
Gottman notes in his book that from knowledge of our spouse’s love maps not only springs forth love, but stability when couples face storms. They know what makes each other tick and utilize that knowledge to strengthen their marriage. When hard times hit husbands and wives who are already in the habit of keeping up to date and are intently aware of what each other is thinking and feeling are not taken off course.
- Recognizing the Four Horsemen and Avoiding Them
Also researched by Gottman is the concept of the “four horsemen” that ride to plunder and destroy marriages in the wake of complacency. These horsemen all have one thing in common: they are all manifestations of pride. They show up in conflict and are a common predictor of divorce in the studies of Gottman. They are identified as:
- Criticism
This is easily discerned in an argument when one spouse attacks the other spouse, as opposed to the issue at hand. Say one spouse forgets to take out the trash and the other complains by saying, “Why are you so forgetful? I am sick of always having to nag you to take out the trash!” This is not a complaint about trash anymore, but a complaint against the person who has not taken out the trash.
- Contempt
Contempt is identified, by Gottman, as the worst of the four horsemen. Contempt can include sarcasm, cynicism, eye-rolling, sneering, mockery, hostile humor, or anything that portrays disgust. It is the most dangerous because it leads to more conflict. Can one take their partner seriously, if they are fighting back with an artillery of snide remarks?
- Defensiveness
Defensiveness may be one of the most natural responses in a conflict. But like contempt and criticism, it does not help resolve conflict. If one has been told that they should pick up their socks once in a while, and defends their reasons for not picking up their socks, it can easily turn into a fight of who is right and who is wrong. It no longer is a safe session in which a spouse can explain their frustrations, but one in which they feel like they have to tiptoe around just to keep the peace. This can lead to built-up resentment that will not rest until it comes out in a colossal explosion.
- Stonewalling
This example is frustrating to both husband and wife simultaneously. This is most common among men, but can be found in women as well. Stonewalling is where in the face of conflict, a partner disengages completely from the conversation. They can either stonewall by turning away from their partner, walking away, or pretending to be interested in something completely irrelevant to the matter at hand. They do not offer the casual feedback that one would give if they were listening. It is as if a section of their brain has completely shut down. A “stonewaller” is most likely flooded. Flooded is a state in which the physiological body cannot internalize any more conflict. Their heart rate increases, their blood rushes to their vital organs, and they are essentially in fight or flight mode. They are in a dominantly physical state of mind. A stonewaller shuts down when their body can no longer handle the pressure. A woman becomes even more frustrated at this development because naturally, women are more expressive creatures. Women can more easily bounce back from conflict, and do not always understand the effect their conflict is having on the male’s physical body. While the woman’s frustration can escalate (usually because she assumes the stonewalling, husband does not care about her plight) the male may sink deeper into his little corner. It is a lose-lose situation.
The “four horsemen” have mercilessly destroyed marriages from couples, both old and young. I do not claim that a single horseman can destroy a marriage, but usually a combination of horsemen. But one must know how to defend against them. One way has been discussed as before. We must not allow our pride to impede our family’s progression. In conflict, we must remind ourselves of the love that we have for our partner. We must not allow emotion to subject us to criticism, contempt, defensiveness, or stonewalling.
• Turn Towards Each Other, Not Apart
In our busy world our days become even more and more routine. We go to bed at night exhausted just to wake up in the morning and start the day over. We may have days so jam-packed that we do not have time to even deviate. Time from our spouse causes a drift, and eventually, a rift. I do not believe it possible for a relationship to stay constant. It is growing or it is deteriorating. The paces may be fast enough for concern, or it may be indiscernible. I am of the opinion that a relationship should always be growing.
The means by which we do this have mostly been discussed. It is through being considerate of one another. It is taking time out during the week. It is by perfecting “love maps.” Essentially, it is turning towards each other, not the outside world.
Satan knows that the family unit is the most inspired union. It is the most efficient, economically intelligent, and best stronghold designed by God. Satan and his angels desire to tear it apart by any means possible. He has discovered that the most effective way to lead away the hearts of the children of men is to slip a flaxen cord around the neck and slowly add more thin cord until he has them bound and they cannot escape without help (2 Nephi 22:26). The point is that the prisoner is being lead away. Away from what? He is leading them away from anything that the adversary deems virtuous of lovely. It does not have to be strait to an “R” rated movie or the wildest party. Not at first. It could also be something goal worthy and fulfilling. But if it causes the prisoner to refrain from returning from whence he came, it is worth the journey.
If in our marriages, we are prevented from spending the time necessary, or not consecrating our marriages, then Satan laughs. If we are not expressing our love and devotion on a daily basis, if we are not involving our spouse in our lives, if we are not developing our relationship, then we are turning outward towards the rest of the world. We are being lead by the neck and not a pure heart. Even in the midst of hustle and bustle, we must make the time for our spouse and turn inward with our backs facing the world.
• Christ Plays A Central Role In Our Marriage
Lastly, but most importantly, we must never leave the presence of Christ. When we make a covenant, it is between at least two people. One being is a supreme being while the other is a mere mortal. In the case of marriage, we are making a covenant with divinity as well as another person. Again I do not pretend to know what those covenants entail, but I know that covenants are a powerful bond that we will be accountable for. We must never relinquish our relationship with our Savior.
Our relationship with the Savior is based off of faith. I am convinced faith plays a role as a verb and a basis for conviction. If we show conviction in something it causes us to show our conviction, or faith. Having made a step and seeing that the seed is good (Alma 32:30), our faith begins to grow, which in turn causes us to take another step in faith. It is a continuing cycle.
So it is with our relationship with the Savior. We covenant with deity and take a step in the right direction. In turn, we are buoyed up by the promises that the Lord is bound to keep (Doctrine and Covenants 82:10), and then we take another step. In essence we cannot receive true happiness in our marriage without the Savior. He is the one that is uplifting us closer and closer to our eternal destination.
Also, without the Savior, we cannot give what our spouses deserve. We cannot give what we don’t have. If we do not turn our hearts over to the Savior, we are not enabled to receive charity. It is impossible. Charity is a gift and must be sought after through prayer and faith. Only then can we share this gift with our partner.
Our Savior is the ultimate source of truth and light. We are nothing without him. If we heed his words, we will be happier and better off for it. If we do not, we cannot obtain that ultimate end of rue happiness.

Ultimately, the key to a successful marriage is one in which our relationship with our spouse and our Heavenly Father and Savior is welded in love. Love plays a part in our marriage more than any other aspect, and the Plan of Salvation provides the means. In Mathew 22: 40, we learn that all the laws given to us are centered on love of God and love of our neighbor. If we obey those two things, then all others will fall into place.
In marriage, if we truly, sincerely love our spouse then we will find it easier and be more than willing to put into force the skills that have been outlined in this essay. Our love will govern our time, affection, our conflicts, and our desires.

Let Freedom Ring

K, so I'm a day late, but better late than never, right? For the 4th of July my fiance and I finally got a date in! We've been so busy with wedding plans and school, with finals coming up and everything, that we haven't had the chance to have a real, fun date. I really wanted to visit some of my family who were going to be only a few hours away during the holiday, but circumstances wouldn't permit it, so we took advantage of the holiday and the little bit of time we had together. On Saturday we had a double date! We went to a firework show. The idea was, first of all, supposed to be a surprise, but my fiance can't seem to keep anything from me :) so I did know about it. Second of all, it didn't go exactly as planned. The idea was to watch the show from this little island that we were going to ferry out to. But the problem was, there was so much traffic, that we couldn't even get to park near the water. Traffic was the worst I have ever seen it, and I'm from the city! People were parking on the lawns, medians, you name it. The whole city seemed to be of the opinion that anything goes! I guess this is supposed to be the biggest Fourth of July show west of the Mississippi. So we ended up on some lawn and got out our little mini barbecue and made some hamburgers and hot dogs. Yum! We set up lawn chairs and blankets and got all ready. The other couple and I got caught up before the show, and the show was awesome to watch! We sorta got lost on the way home, due to congested traffic, but all in all, it was a great night.
Then, of course on the Fourth, it was a fast and testimony meeting. Many people, as expected, bore their testimonies on their gratitude for freedom and the ability to worship how they may. There seemed to be a theme of gratitude for much more than just freedom, but all the tender mercies the Lord pours out on this nation. Truly, the Lord gives us many, many blessings. I think too often we focus on everything that is going wrong in this country and forget all the blessing we have. We have it so good! I have no doubt that the founding fathers were inspired and had the right principles and ideals in mind when they set up our government, but people only abuse the law and the spirit of it. In truth, I am proud to be an American. There are many good hearts and many great blessings. We need only compare our personal circumstances to other nations to see that. They don't share the same privileges we have.
Now I am definitely off the topic I wanted to share. I have been thinking about freedom and liberty and what that means in a gospel perspective.
Agency, as defined in True to the Faith, is "the ability to choose and to act for yourself." We know that in the premortal life we had the ability to choose between our Heavenly Father's plan or Satan's plan. "[Our} presence on this earth confirms that [we] exercised [our] agency to follow Heavenly Father's plan." (True to the Faith, 12.)
I am not sure how, but in scripture it talks of agency being a gift from God. I do not understand this fully and how this would relate to our existence as intelligences before we became spirit children (Abraham 3:22). But as I have been studying this topic I have come to conclude (and this is not something I would teach in Sunday school or over the pulpit until I understood it more plainly or heard this from a general authority) that there are two types of agency. One is your basic all-encompassing agency, and the second is moral agency which is contingent on a few factors that God has given us (thus, I wonder if the gift of agency is actually the gift of moral agency, and our ability to choose isn't necessarily given to us, but allowed to continue because God is all powerful and allows us to have our agency to bring to pass his great and marvelous work [Moses 1:39]. And then again, that is why I wouldn't teach this in a church setting). In order to have moral agency, it seems as if two things have to happen: One, we need to have opposition, which started with Adam and Eve when they fell, which was in accordance with God's Plan of Salvation. There has to be right choices and wrong choices, sin and righteousness, good and evil. "Wherefore, the Lord God gave unto man that he should act for himself. Wherefore, man could not act for himself save it should be that he was enticed by the one or the other" (2 Nephi 2:16). The second is that we must have access to intelligence and the light of truth (D&C 93: 29-32). May I submit that the means by which we have access to intelligence is the Light of Christ (for he said "I am the Spirit of truth" [D&C 93:26]), which helps us discern between right and wrong.
Because of this moral agency, we become agents unto ourselves (D&C 58:28). In essence, we choose who we become. We do not choose the consequences of our actions, but we choose what kinds of consequences we will have by our actions, weather in this life, or the life to come. "Choices of good and righteousness lead to happiness, peace, and eternal life, while choices of sin and evil eventually lead to heartache and misery" (True to the Faith, 12). Consequently, we are responsible for ourselves, or rather accountable. "That every man may act in doctrine and principle pertaining to futurity, according too the moral agency which I have given unto him, that every man may be accountable for his own sins in the day of judgment" (D&C 101:78).
Because of the perfect Plan of Salvation, we have the freedom to choose where we will ultimately end up. "And they are free to choose liberty and eternal life through the great Mediator of all men, or to choose captivity and death, according to the captivity and power of the devil; for he seeketh that all men might be miserable like unto himself" (2 Ne 2:27). If we choose righteously, then not only are we free, but we have LIBERTY. Righteous actions allow us to have more choice and more expansion of ability and growth, where unrighteous actions allow condemnation, or a limited expansion of ability and growth. But ultimately, the choice is ours.
With the Light of Christ, we are never alone in this endeavor. And in addition, as latter-day-saints we have the blessings and gift of the Holy Ghost. This gift allows us to be truly converted to Christ and the laws of heaven, and furthers our ability to reach our full potential. It expands our horizons so that we do not have to be commanded in all things, but use our agency to improve our talents. We can do things of our own free will and bring to pass much righteousness (D&C 58:27).

Seek Ye Learning by Faith

So, as you may know, I have taken a job at the university where I teach, what is is called, "musicianship." The university, let me tell ya, is all about change. This class is actually fairly new (it used to be two separate classes), and the teachers have just about got their curriculum in check. They have written everything up that needs to be written, and a schedule that fits to the semester. They are just getting to the point where they don't have to worry about how they will fulfill their objectives in the class in regards to the curriculum they have decided to follow, but they can now take it to the next level and wonder how they can best teach what they want to teach.
I meet with these teachers about once a week (I do get paid for the interview...he he) and we almost always end up in a philosophical discussion. One teacher has been teaching for 50 years + and the other is in my generation, but extremely intelligent and is dedicated to what he does. At first, in these meetings I would be a little timid. I didn't want to say something that would offend either one of them and my job security would plummet. But as time has gone on, I've noticed they value our opinion because we are students who have been in our student's shoes. They seem to trust us and our opinion as we have the common goals to make our class the most beneficial we can for the students. It is quite fascinating.
The other day we were in one of these discussions. Fuming, the older teacher expressed his frustration at students who are attending college as a means to an end. They want to get by, they just want to pass for the slip of paper that will ensure them a job after they graduate. Pretty understandable, right? I mean, that is why we go to college, right? But his qualm was that students no longer desired and thirsted for knowledge. Rather, when he introduced a new topic, they would squirm and complain, and challenge his right to be teaching them things that they might not see on a test because it would not be "productive" and a "waste of time." I may have elaborated on the subject a little bit, but this is the general attitude I notice from the peers around me. They "hem and haw" and really just want professors to give them the grade. They want everything on a silver platter. "Just give me the grade I deserve based off of the effort I put into this class!" seems to be the complacent cry, even if they have not gained a true understanding of the material. They have put in effort. Effort to complete assignments, to memorize what might be on the tests, but they do not wish to internalize the skills, or what they are learning.
This was the teacher's complaint and I and the other mentor with us, could not help but agree. The teacher pointed out that our generation has seemed to forget what hard work was.
This ushered in a hour of discussion. My take on it was/is this:
My generation has grown up with everything at our fingertips. We have entertainment readily available, we know there are tools we can find a mouse-click away, we know that knowledge is readily available for finding in a time of need, there our friends that are a phone call/text away, we know the whereabouts of our family members all the time and know they can come rushing to our aid, we have stores that are just minutes away, and we have always had the ability to be educated because our society makes it so readily available to us. Everything is easy. We don't have to work hard. We have been taught that as long as we get an acceptable grade in our studies we will be given what we want. It boarders on Aldous Huxley's A Brave New World in that "people are happy; they get what they want." True, people may be temporarily happy, but they may not see things as they are and are to come(D&C 93:24). It is hard to see a life outside of college where the knowledge we gain will be useful and for our benefit, but how will we implement what we have been taught if we actually didn't learn the material?
But what if college didn't give us a degree or knowledge to aid us in job prospects? Is it still worth our time? (Yeah, dumb question) In D&C 88:118 we are encouraged to seek words of wisdom from one another and out of the best books. We also learn that what we have done in this life, the knowledge we have gained and the character we have built, will be the thing that will remain with us in the next life. President Gorden B. Hinckley once said, "The mind of man is the crowning creation of God, in whose express image man was made. The development of the mind is a companion responsibility to the cultivation of the spirit, as set forth in the revealed principles of the restored gospel of Jesus Christ." (see D&C 93:36) The whole purpose of this life is to be tried and tested. We are failing our final exam if we have not studied for our test! How can we expect to be like God if we don't strive to make our mind like his?
In 2 Nephi 2 we learn that because we are redeemed from the fall of Adam we are free. Free to act, and not to be acted upon (vs 26). If we don't take this freedom we have been given, this gift that was paid for by our Savior, we are being selfish and ungrateful. It is as if we reject Him and His sacrifice. Let us continually strive to improve ourselves. Stand a little taller.
The ability we have to learn is given us, but the means by which we are able to learn is also a gift to our generation in this day and age. We have been given limitless resources! Libraries! The Internet! Those who have gone before us! Indeed we have been blessed. Indeed, you may say that we have a duty to our children, in consequence of our having so many opportunities, to seek learning.
But how do we seek learning? We are admonished to seek learning "even by study and also by faith." In my life I have come to learn for myself that faith is a verb. It required action, and in doing so, our faith grows. It is a continued cycle.We believe and hope, take action, and gain even more reason to believe and hope. So it is with our ambition to learn. We must proceed in faith and with purpose. We must be careful of the source of our learning. Resulting from so many sources of knowledge, we know that there are sources designed specifically to deceive. We can always be assured that the spirit will never lie, for it "speaketh truth and lieth not...and these things are manifested unto us plainly" (Jacob 4:13).
I know that this maybe a struggle to many, but I can sincerely say that I as I have put these things into practice, my eyes have been opened. I love to learn! I receive great joy as I become the pupil of the Spirit. It is a struggle but certainly worth it! I have come to enjoy learning for learning and to sit "pondering in mine heart" the things I am taught my heart swells with gratitude and a sense of well-being. I've thought about these things as I have been teaching, and I decided to read all my students a cute little poem:
The Thrill of Acheivement
There is no thrill in easy sailing,
Where skies are clear and blue;
There's no joy in merely doing
Things which anyone can do.
But there is great satisfaction
That is very sweet to take,
When you reach a destination
That was really tough to make.
I know we are Never Alone in our endeavors. Especially when they are Christ-like and we are seeking the help of the one who wants us to come unto Him. Back to Huxley's Brave New World. When the character, Savage, confronts the "commander" in the book, they argue about which life style is better. Is the life where everything is easy and given to us the most desirable, or is the lifestyle that sees struggle worth living? "Actual happiness [otherwise known as pleasure] always looks pretty squalid in comparison with the over-compensations for misery. And, of course stability isn't nearly so spectacular as instability. And being contented has none of the glamour of a good fight against misfortune, non of the picturesqueness of a struggle with temptation, or a fatal overthrow by passion or doubt. Happiness [or pleasure, which does not shine to TRUE happiness] is never grand."
Learning may be hard, but it is so real and worth the effort in contrast to one who goes through the mere motions of learning.

Engagement Story

So, this blog is actually very late, but better late than never, right?
So, I'm engaged to be married. To me, this is still a very strange reality. My whole philosophy is that I can't imagine what it will be like to be married since I've never experienced it. I just have to take it one step at a time. I've been talking to some girls up at school and they say that they never really to used to the idea until they were actually in the temple. So, it is a little scary, but I know I'm not alone in it.
About a month ago, he and I took a trip to my home town, to our Grandparents' houses and his married siblings' houses. It took up our whole break, but it was a blast.
We visited my family first, right after my mom helped me move. (It was very kind of her, by the way.) We spent a few days there before he asked my Dad for my hand. At this point it was like I thought I wanted to marry him, but I wasn't all there yet. I wanted to see how I felt being with him in my backyard. Where I had my roots. For some reason, it was all very natural. It was like he belonged there. My mom sorta assisted in his being able to ask my Dad as she planned out a time that would be best and for us to be out of the way. :-)
Then he and I flew out and visited other family. It was also good because I saw many different sides of him, but they were all nothing I hadn't known before. So I was gaining confidence in the decision I was about to make.
While at one of his brother's houses I had a special experience. It was after we had said good night and had a long day together. (By the way, after spending a week with someone 24/7 you could easily get tired of them, right? For us, not at all. It was still hard to say good night even though we knew that we would see each other first thing in the morning.)I was in the front room all by myself just pondering. You know how the spirit can teach you things you already know? Like you understand a concept, but it doesn't quite hit you until the spirit seems to shout at you in its still small voice, penetrating your soul? It was one of those things. I began a conversation between myself and this special Spirit. It went something like this:
"Well, Aubrey you know one of two things is going to have to happen. You are either gonna bump him, or marry him. And it is going to be fairly soon."
Pretty simple concept, right? I knew this, but I guess I needed an extra push. It really did make the situation that much more real.
I thought to myself, "Wow, what would it be like to break up with him?" As this thought struck me I began to cry. haha. Right in the middle of a living room that I had only stayed in for a few nights. It struck me, that it pained my heart to the very center. I could not imagine that heart ache becoming very real.
It brought me back to a moment in the temple I had when we were first dating. I siad, "Heavenly Father," as I glanced over at my boyfriend at the time while he had his head bowed in fervent prayer. "Even if things don't work out between me and [my boyfriend], I want to thank you for letting me know such a man." At that moment it was either the spirit or my own emotion, but I began to cry then too.
In the middle of that living room I began to realize something. Even at that young stage of our relationship our love was deep and it had been growing since. I thought I knew I wanted to marry him for some time and had been entertaining and pondering the thought, but had not the resolve to consent to marriage.
I realized that for the longest time I had been asking the wrong question. "What should I do? What would thou have me do?" had been my incessant plea. In my classes I had been learning that in the case of marriage and most other situations we are to ponder it out in our hearts, have some conclusion in mind, and then ask the Lord if it be right. Of course I knew this, but was not ready to make any kind of decision. That night I discovered what I wanted. I knelt down and asked. "Lord, I think that [my boyfriend] and I want to be sealed in thy Holy House for time and eternity. Would this be sanctified by thy Spirit? Do you approve of this decision?" I got a surge of warmth well up in my chest and my eyes filled with tears. That was all I needed! Now I could move forward without fear. God was on my side and had given me an answer. I thanked him with as much gratitude as I could muster.
Fast forward a week. On Valentine's Day I had played him a song I had written to tell him how I felt. It was rather cute, if I say so myself! But it had ended poorly and didn't quite resolve. So I finished the song, saying yes, and played it for him in the temple parking lot. Cheesy, I know, but I wouldn't have it any other way. He was so touched at what I was doing (not necessarily the song..grr...haha) that his eyes filled with tears, but he's like my Dad and did not shed them. But we had a good moment enjoying each other and the reality of the situation. It was there we shared our and my first kiss. (He asked of course...)
Well, he had already been planning a way to ask me to marry him for some time, so just a little while later he insisted we go fishing. It was a Thursday, and I knew the ring we had been looking at wasn't in yet, so I was clueless as to what was happening. It was a school night, and I knew it would be cold, so I didn't want to go, but he insisted that it was going to snow soon and that we had to go now as opposed to the weekend. I consentedd to go for a half-hour only. Little did I know, that I would not be getting back to my homework until much later that night.
So we drove out to this river/creek-looking thing. The whole way there he was talking to his roommate in computer language. He deals with computers all the time, so I didn't think much of it. He said he had enlisted the help of his roommate and a friend in assisting him to fix a server for an apartment complex. This all seemed very normal to me, and so I didn't think much of it.
We arrived at the place and he fixed up a fishing rod for me, instructing me to cast for a while to see if I could get anything while he started running up and down the bank. He said he was looking for big fish at the surface. I thought, "What in the world? Big fish would not be at the top of the surface...but oh well! You are the expert!" What I didn't know was that he was frantically searching for a particular chest that his roommate, under his instruction, had placed in the water fifteen minutes prior to our coming. Inside this chest was a sealed jewelry/music box with a "pre-engagement" ring inside. This chest was fashioned to have a lot of fishing line around it in order to facilitate a hook snagging on it. It was also supposed to have a bobber attached to it. However, the bobber had sunk with the chest. All of a sudden his room mate shows up, and I get informed that there had been some complications to this special trip. Haha. It was the thought that counted. To make a long story short, his roommate had to point out the exact spot of the chest and we had to get it out by pulling at the safety line that had been tied to the bank. Not a bad way to go. The chest had been wrapped around with chains and locks. His roommate had to find the bottle that had also been carefully stowed away with a key in it to the locks and a note that [my boyfriend] had written. It was about "treasures"and it all related to life and our future. It was very sweet. Then I opened the locks to the chest and saw within the small box with a bunch of "treasures": coins, bracelets, and such. Then I opened the small box and it played music. (It was also supposed to light up...haha...but it was a little water logged.) So that is the cute story!
I didn't know this before the event. I was completely clueless, though I thought he had been up to something lately. One day I found his hands all covered in super glue. He said he had been fixing a fishing pole. In all actuality he had been trying to grow moss on the chest to make it look authentic and all and he had soaked it for so long that the chest had fallen apart and he was gluing it back together. He also had been trying to rust the locks and burn the edges of the note. All attempts had failed, but it was still so cute to hear about the effort that had gone into such a proposal. It was very sweet.


All in all, I know the Lord has been blessing us with strength and guidance. It took me forever to get up the guts to play him that song I made the first time, but the second time, though the song had a deeper meaning and more consequences weighed on its outcome, I was able to play it without hesitation. (I prayed a lot before we went out that night.) I also have seen his hand in our situation all a long the way. While we were courting I would tell him that I thought someone was on his side, because things would just fall into place from time to time. Truly WE are Never Alone.

Mine Arm Is Lengthened Out

This semester our top chamber group was blessed t tour in Salt Lake. Our main purpose for going there was to sing with the Mormon Tabernacle choir in the Music and the Spoken word, but we were also privileged to sing at The President's Club in the Church Office Building. I wasn't exactly sure what this meant, but I only knew that President Eyring would be present and that we would be singing one of my favorite songs of the semester. This particular song is called "Mine Arm is Lengthened Out" (visit http://www.lanejmusic.com/mine_arm.mp3 It is only a sample of music and is broken up into little segments, so it does not carry the piece's majestic power that it has, or it's full purpose and meaning, but it will give you an idea of the kind of mood it will portray. It also was at least a few minutes long as well). It isn't commonly known, but through this semester I have discovered that it has touched my life in a way that only music can. The words are as follows:

Mine arm is lengthened out all the day long
And yet, they will deny me
Yet, they will not come unto me and partake.

How oft would I have gathered you
As a hen gathereth her brood?
How oft would I have gathered you together
But ye would not!

Incline your ear and come unto me:
Hear and your soul shall live.

I shall lengthen out mine arm from day to day
And I will be merciful to those that come unto me.

Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee.
Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of mine hands.

I thought so much about the meaning behind this piece as we were learning it and performed it two times at the university. While I was first learning it, I twisted the meaning of the song to fit into my own life and circumstances. Towards the beginning of the semester I knew I was losing and eventually love my grandmother and where it says, "Yea, they may forget, yet will I not forget thee. Behold, I have graven thee upon the palms of mine hands," I would think of Christ welcoming and greeting my Grandma on the other side. Then I started to think about Christ pleading to those He suffered so much for. Christ is perhaps my favorite subject to write or talk about and for years I have marveled at his ability to love so many people and to love us so much and suffer for us so much, and the pain He must feel when those He loves and has paid the price for, reject Him and His gift. I thought of Christ pleading for us to come unto Him. It is really a powerful image when you think about it. In the book of Moses (chapter 7) we read of Enoch's experience where he sees God weep "[for those who] are without affection, and [those who] had their own blood (vs 33)." I suppose I am like Enoch who marvels that such a being who is holy and eternal can weep, and shed tears like rain upon the mountains (vs 28-29). But the truth of it is this: deity does love those children who are lost and would want more than anything to have them join the fold once more. The hymn comes to mind, "I Stand All Amazed", for I truly, do stand amazed at the love Jesus has for me.
This was the message I wanted to share with a room full of strangers in the Church Office Building that day in Salt Lake. Many of us felt the piece in a similar way and as we sang, tears streamed down our faces. It had touched all of our hearts and we wanted, in our way, to be the a voice for the Lord, pleading that all might remember Him and come unto Him, for He had not forgotten us; we are engraved upon the palms of His hands.

After we sang we were invited to stay to hear the president of our school speak and to hear a few words from President Eyring. While the President of our school spoke I listened and realized that the talk he was giving was very similar to the many talks he gives at the beginning of the semester when he addresses the students at the university. He spoke of how the spirit teaches and can give us a fuller understanding of the lessons we are being taught inside the classroom. I had experienced this many times, as it is part of our learning model.
Then President Eyring got up and said a few words. I was almost disappointed that we didn't make him cry with our song, though I saw many people take a napkin to their eyes. The whole room was touched, and though I expected him to cry, since he seems to cry every time I see him give a talk, for whatever reason, he did not. However, in his address he did speak of how he appreciated and recognized the students' love of the savior. He said you could plainly see they knew the meaning of the song they sang. We knew we didm but were looking to touch them.
It is so cool to see a general authority speak so freely. He told of his experience in school and how he had struggled with physics, but had had his own touching experience where he felt the Spirit testify of the truthfulness of an equation in his book. He emphasized the importance of the Spirit and then bore his testimony of the Savior as well. Then he shared something rather personal that touched me. I hope I get my facts strait, but I know that I know the message to be true. He said one day he was thanking God for the path he had taken in life and for the experiences he had had to get him to that point in his life. Then he said he felt a little chastened. He realized that Christ had actually been the one playing and active role in his life and putting him where he was supposed to be at the right time. It was interesting because we think of how much Christ honored His Father in Heaven and we are commanded to do the same, but still Christ is the one that knows us and our trials perhaps more than anyone because He performed the atonement for us. I think it is wonderful to know that he is playing a role in our life as long as we let him. Truly He is on our right hand and on our left (D&C 84:88). We are never alone, for He is in our midst (D&C 61:36).

At the end we were able and allowed to mingle in the crowd. I cannot say I met President Eyring or Elder Ballard, who was also present, but I did have the opportunity to meet Sister Dalton. Wow. She is such an amazing woman, and I have always looked up to her. She was in the Young Women's presidency the same time I was and now I get to continue to grow up with her in Relief Society. I was standing behind her with another group of women in the choir with me, and when she turned around she looked at us and gave me and my roommate a big hug and showed her love. She is very animated, just like she is when she speaks over broadcasts, but I could not have known that she could show so much love! She turned to us and thanked us for what we did, and she told us that we could have converted thousands with our testimonies, even if we had not opened our mouths. She was just impressed with how we looked and carried ourselves. Maybe we had the light of Christ in our eyes! But she asked us how many were young women when she served and most of us were. She exclaimed, "So you are my girls!" And she proceeded to meet and greet each one of us. She told us that she had been taking notes through the meeting on little placemat cards. She said that she had been taking notes not on what the speakers said, but on what she had felt. Again, she thanked us for what we had done.
Needless to say, at the end of the experience our heart were full. We were so ready to share our testimonies and share our light with the oil that we had been given for our lamps that day.

Go the Way of All the Earth

The morning of the day my grandmother died, I somehow knew that that day would be the day she would go the way of all the earth. It wasn't a shock, and it didn't turn my world upside down, but it did impact me. I was sad that I had this separation from her. We had known for a while now that she was going to take a journey, and so we were prepared to face that fact. I only regretted that I did not get to spend as much time with her as I would have liked. Though I mentioned her to many of my friends as a great example, I never had myself expressed it to her. I regretted that greatly. I guess I had to try to make up for it by sending her a letter that explained that fact. I was told it didn't reach her in time before she had slipped into a coma. After she had passed on, I wondered what she would think of me, seeing me with a clear mind and eyes. I wondered if she would be proud of me. Would she approve of my choices? Could she know of my life, ambitions, goals? I didn't know. I wondered what she looked like. I hadn't seen very many pictures of her and wondered what her spirit might look like. One night, I was writing about it in my journal. I wrote of how she was a spirited lady in health and how I would have liked to know her during that time in her life. I wrote my concerns. Then I wrote of m admiration of her. I wrote how I was sad she never got o hear me express in life my love of her and appreciation for the way she raised her sons, for the way she handled her illness, her determination. I was sitting on my bed at an angle, and then felt very strongly a presence over my shoulder. I felt she was reading the things I was writing and began to cry. I believe she visited me and now knows in death what I wanted so desperately her to know in life.
The funeral was held in Florida where my grandparents had lived. I was glad to fly out. It was stressful at first, especially since I am a full time student and working hard from day to day just to get everything done as it is. I had to get five days of work into two short days. I was exhausted by the end of it, but God had blessed me with an easy week altogether, making it possible for me to meet the time restraint. I flew out in time to see the viewing. I felt it was a rough decision to fly out that soon, but once I got there I felt I knew why I was compelled to make that choice. Travel for me took over twelve hours. In one airport I actually ran into my uncle on my mom's side who was flying to my hometown so he could fly some more planes. It was fun to see a friendly face in an airport that was foreign to me. There were a ton of missionaries in the airport, clearly going home. They were all at pay phones talking to their parents. I loved the sight of a little army of God. I usually bring a pass along card when I travel, but that day the only one I had wasn't in the best shape. I asked a missionary for a card and ended up giving it to a cute couple that had been married for fifty years. They were a delight to watch because they treated each other like they had just gotten married last week or something.
It was so fun to be with my family again. We had a lot to talk about in the airport and on the trip overall. I loved to see them and extended family I don't get to see very often. My great-grandpa came after he had had a heart attack the week before :-/ But it was very cool to see him. Also, I got to see one of my uncles that I hadn't seen since...? I don't even know..And of course, it is always a pleasure to see my sister and nephew. I love her so much! It was also a pleasure for me to get to know one of my cousins who I had priorly seen only time to time. I had never really talked with her one on one before, but I became so impressed with her! I am used to being the person who helps out around the house, or being the person that one can turn to in a time of need, but I noticed that whenever I went to go do something, she was already on top of it! I did get to help every now and then, but usually she had already done it, or was doing it, so I'd help how I could. I found that we were really similar in character and we looked alike too! crazy! Despite the solemnity of such an occasion, it was also a "jovial" time.
In the whole experience I have come to conclude that I get through funerals ok, but viewings are hard for me. When we entered the funeral home, it took no less than a minute for me to look at my deceased grandmother and begin to sob. I got out of the way so other people could see, but returned to her side and stared down at her. My mom had helped dress her and get her ready for the occasion. I told her I could not believe she did that, or how she could do that. I was not sure I could have. But she put a comforting arm around me and reassured me that she had had her moments as well. Looking at her, I noticed that even in death she was beautiful and elegant. I couldn't help but feel that everything that was happening was appropriate for her. No matter how much pain she was in, she liked to look good in public. It was no different for her in her coffin. I couldn't help but think how awkward I would feel with so many people looking at me or knowing that so many people were looking at me. I'd want to look good for that too. Weird thought. Leave it to me to come up with something like that... But it was very beautiful - that is the point. She looked wonderful, the funeral home looked beautiful, and the flowers were wonderful. It was appropriate for her.
I was just about drained of energy half-way through. I didn't know how my Grandpa was still standing. So firm. He always has been, in my mind, a rock facing any kind of adversity. When it came time to close the casket, a veil was put down to cover her face. I couldn't help but think that a veil is sometimes used in wedding ceremonies, and how her life with grandpa had begun with a veil and ended with a veil covering her. At that point I think I lost it. I cried for my grandpa's sorrow mostly, but I also cried for her sons, and I cried for the separation from her I was personally experiencing (time is so precious!). For some reason after everyone had walked out I was there, sitting with my own grief for company. I didn't feel as if she was there with me as I had before. She was gone doing some greater good I was sure. I wondered out of all the family and people from the community who had attended, why I was the one still sitting in the chapel. Alone. It wasn't like I didn't want to get up. I just simply couldn't. With tissues in hand I waited until I gained control of myself. I knew the people from the funeral home were waiting for me, my family was probably waiting for me too, conversing together in the parking lot. I finally felt peace. I wasn't empty anymore. The spirit was inside me. I walked out and met my family.
The funeral itself was of a lighter mood, at least for me. My sisters and I sang in the church chapel. It was a good program. I loved hearing the comments and how my grandma's children honored her. I was able to be in my grandpa's car as we proceeded to the cemetery. It was a military cemetery and as we drove by there was a group of bikers that had rode in and saluted us. I thought that was pretty cool. The grave site was dedicated and we left. Before we did I took a rose from the top of the floral arrangement on top of the grave. I have since dried it. But before I walked on I went to the head of the coffin kissed my fingers and placed them gently on top of the coffin. It was my own sign of respect and love. I knew we would be reunited one day.

God's Everlasting Love

The University's Choirs and Orchestra were blessed to participate in an Oratorio this semester with words written by David A. Bednar of the Twelve Apostles.It was an amazing experience for all of us and many of us didn't want the experience to end. I love singing in a combined choirs and full orchestras to begin with, but the whole program was special in a whole new dimension. The man that wrote the music to Elder Bednar's words was so inspired. He wrote the music to imitate a sacrament meeting. There was a prelude and postlude from the orchestra, and an opening and closing prayer given by our conductors at each performance and all fourteen movements were about Christ and his atonement. The whole Oratorio was also a chiasma because it started and ended the same musically as well as in its message. There was a male soloist who was backstage and unseen while he represented God in the piece. He sang about the purpose of the earth being created and essentially about why we were put here. In the last piece we join in as a choir, as sons and daughters, and proclaim that we know our purpose on the earth and through whom it is made possible. The whole experience was so sacred and so well written.
We were blessed to perform it four times. Two times at the university, once in Twin Falls and Once in the Tabernacle on temple square. Each performance was sold out. Temple Square was an amazing experience. When we arrived we were instructed to go and change and then to meet in the "horseshoe" which is a green room or sorts. It was so cool to because it was under the tabernacle and you could see tunnels leading to the conference center and temple and we saw Mormon Tabernacle Storage in that room. We couldn't believe we were in that same room where the MoTab would probably warm up. Well, soon we were wanted on stage. We were being recorded and they wanted us to do the whole thing before we performed that night for editing purposes. It was so cool to watch the cameras and the screen (although I wasn't supposed to, I would look when I knew for certain there wasn't a possibility of me being filmed). It really looked like they were filming the Tabernacle choir and orchestra. The cool part is we get to get a DVD of the performance by the end of the semester. After we ran through it we were invited to eat underneath the conference center. We got to go through the security doors and pass the temple to get there through the tunnels. As we passed the temple we were encouraged to be respectful and reverent. We all were, and I couldn't but help think of the story where President Hinckley, in reverence, took off his hat as he passed under the temple. I wondered if that story took place where we were. The church fed us well in the Conference Center. I think we paid for a bit of it, but I think the portions were generous. Then we had to make our way back to the Tabernacle and we received more instruction and then we found ourselves going out onstage. I knew my grandparents got a hold of tickets and were going to be there in one of the balconies but I wasn't sure. Finally, right before the announcement that began ever performace commenced I found them. They were in the stage left balcony front row! I was so happy to see them and hoped the performance would touch them. I feel as a choir and orchestra, we put everything inot that performance. I was focused on musical skill more than anything that night, I think because I really wanted our DVD's to be good. But I kind of regret that. I'll go into more detail later. After the performance I was pleased to find my grandparents and hear how they had liked the concert. They loved what we had done and I think they understood the message as much as you could hearing it once. We walked around temple square together and took pictures. Finally my grandma I think couldn't take the cold much longer and I boarded the bus to go home.
I think through the whole duration of the trip I ate better than I had living on my own. I just have to say Relief Society sisters are amazing. In Twin Falls before and after our performance we were taken care of the stakes there. They fed us an amazing dinner and still came around with baskets of rolls and cookies while we were seated. There were more than 300 of us and they were so amazing they had fed dished everyone up in 12 minutes flat! And we were pampered even after that with water being poured into our half empty glasses and strawberries someone had thought of giving away. I felt they were being so generous! And then we stayed with host families. The family took us, had a big house and took five us. We were all comfortable and well fed again. Breakfast was amazing, snacks that night were amazing, and the family had a genuine interest in who we were. They found out that we played guitar and when I asked if there was anything we could do for them while we were staying with them they just requested a song. We kind of did an exchange of music. Their daughter played for us and one girl who was with us played Blackbird. I chose to play "Come Thou Fount" and one of my old roommates sung with me, so we harmonized to the music. It was a cool experience because almost immediately I noticed the room flood with the spirit. The family's eyes confirmed that they were touched and they thanked us for the song. It was just another confirmation to me of why I am going into music. I believe it can touch people in ways nothing else can.
During all four of the performances of God's Everlasting Love, I felt very strongly that I wanted the people I was performing for to feel the spirit and the joy of the message we were sharing. In that moment I felt inadequate to share such a special and true message with my own weaknesses. I knew I couldn't sing it perfectly to convey such a perfect message, and I knew the orchestra could not play beautifully enough to convey such a beautiful message. But I realized that our spirits could connect with those of our brothers and sisters to convey our own humble, but strong testimonies. And that is what mattered. All our hours of rehearsing paid off in the moment we touched at least one soul. THat would make it all worth it. But I can guarantee that we touched more than just one soul. Before we left on our tour we were instructed to treat this experience as if we were on a mission. We were representing a church, a school, and He whose name we take upon ourselves. I loved that idea! I tried to take that seriously, and get the most I could from the experience. The last night we sang the Oratorio I gave it everything I could. I put my heart my soul, my testimony, every ounce of musical ability I could into all the movements. By the end of it I was exhausted, but so happy with what we had done. I was emotionally drained for all my crying, but so spiritually full. I only wish I had had that in the tabernacle. But I know that the spirit can come to us in the most unexpected circumstance as long as we are listening and worthy to receive it. All in all, what I came away from it was that music can touch people, and I forever want to be a part in that. My testimony was strengthened and I was filled with gratitude for all that made it possible, especially those saints in Twin Falls who showed us such kindness. For certain you are never alone in the church and in your testimony.